Sunday, April 20, 2008
Friday, April 18, 2008
Dynamos weather storm at Attic to keep title hopes alive and send 'Brew down
Claptonspecialbrew Athletic 8DSPAF 8
Att. 22.345
Well what went on this blustery, blistering and ball-bashing eve at home of the North London phenomenon that is Claptonspecialbrew Athletic?
Much , I tell you, much more than anyone could have envisaged and make no mistake.
With the endless injury lists, overseas commitments and scouting trips the squad had
diminished to almost unplayable levels. At least that is what the tabloid talk was all about. "No-one's sure what team will turn up tonight," wrote Matt LeTissier in his column 'Inside the footballing mind'.They know nothing about the true grit and determination of these warriors of the field. Nothing was going to stop these pros from their 90mins of ball-kicking to and fro-ing. "At the end of the day the 'Brew went down reluctantly leaving a nauseating aftertaste", commented Gaby Logan.
It looked doomed from the Friday shout out to the crew with Gizzabaldi and Turnbulletin both on scouting trips with monsieur Platini, Wolfkaiser in talks with Mr Hicks as a possible replacement for Rafa, Al Kinghali along with others in the Oxygen tent, Gosh it was OFF. But No, the hard-core grafters of the team, the Home Boys rallied together for a spectacular 3v3.
The heavens opened, but this did nothing to dampen the spirits of the Ladz. Hell no!
Roperaroo dispensed the bibs with confidence, almost floating the Hi-viz tops to the chosen few.
IT WAS ON!
A strange yet attack minded formation was obvious from the Off.
Teams:
Roperaroo... Conngiggski.....Coweyscatsi
V
Campellese....El Darrylinho........Waddolucci
The crowd cheered with joy in anticipation of what was bound to be a tight, high tempo and low scoring game. The game plan was set: attacking 3 versus a defensive 3 and vice-versa. It was end-to-end stuff and no shortening of the field either. Full length or an early bath was the cry.
The St Johns Ambulance crew had to administer 2 full packs of Polos and 2 individual Werthers Originals to the crowd for Ye Olde Repetitatitatitative Straine Injurie of the neck, such was the tempo of the game. Some say it was like watching every Tiger Tim Henman defeat at Wimbledon 1985 to 2006.
The keepers had a ‘Mare, it must be said: where were they? Some of the restless crowd compared the lack of stability 'tween the bark, to that of Grobbelaar and Barthez in their pomp.
Where the F-ck were they? Abroad many said. How right they were. Gaping holes in defence were evident early doors, in fact from minute 3 on the clock. Cramp and fatigue were some of the ailments suffered for the cause this night. The now apparent super-sized onion sack was there for the taking, but a goal fest was not to be. Crowd pleasing was the game-plan this eve. What a feast for the eyes this was.El Darrylinho was back to his old tricks, piledriving from every angle. The protractor was out as he worked his way through the full 180 degrees at his disposal. Waddolucci found new form in curling a few beauties, yet still finding time to berate his colleagues when he had an allotment of space to pass to. Campellese was at his 9-5 favourite at the 3.30 at White City best, almost spin drying himself with his ferocious runs from defence.
Roperaroo was dogged in defence and, during a live broadcast from the Pavilion Gavin Peacock declared him a "non insubstantial Obstacle" to negotiate; he was also staking his long-established claim on the Kleenex Menthol Fair-Play award with clean tackling to complement his quick passing.
Coweyscatsi as ever found the energy for the full 90, looking sharp and he too took a few curlers into the sac d’oignons. Conngiggskï had a cameo role, and was likened by Jan Mölby to “the Duracel bunny running out of steam culminating in him breakdancing on the D like that fella Leroy from FAME in the 80's”.
Highlights included a real treat, with Waddo and El Darylinho using the Bark as the 4th man.
Ping goes Darrylinho’s piledriver, pong goes Waddo’s volleyed reply again off the bark. For once the Campellese legs let down their proud owner for the triple.It was a treat, the crowd thought Christmas had come early, as did the players.
The score-line was a tad confused, however, at ‘next goal wins’. At this point they were level at 8-8.
The final goal however will be investigated, as Coweyscatsi was retrieving the ball when the players and officials discussed ‘next goal wins’ scenario. He returned to the field with info from neither referee Jorge Satantango nor the fourth official and that’s not the way we end the game. So from a likely 13-8 scoreline we ended it in a draw. With but one fixture between now and the Dynamos’ debut on the swards of a verdant south east London playing field, the highest paid bench in the Premiership wil
l be the site for some repartee straight out of the top drawer next week as subs try to talk and sing their way back into the first 11. Under the watchful eye of Dynamos supremo Juande Vamos , the Dry Karaoke nights with which the squad have had to content themselves of late will be the scene for some interesting head-to-heads in the lead-up to next week’s fixture against Peckhamwoodpeckercider AFC who, according to Peckhamwoodpeckercider supremo Sammy Smallerdyce “just need 6 points to stay up and another one or two to avoid relegation.”Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Dynamos quietly reach last 4 as sedate Utd send out wrong message
DSPAFC 16
Colors of Benetton Utd 6
Att: 9,367
Champions League quarter final 2nd leg
Whether it was fatigue at the prospect of yet another match between the Dynamos and their arch rivals, albeit this time in the Champions League, or lack of enthusiasm for the new ground, the atmosphere at Pond Cottages this evening was muted. At times the players could have been forgiven for thinking they were playing behind closed doors such was the silence that hung over the stadium. At the pavilion only the empty bar stools usually 
graced by the posteriors of players and pundits were able to muster a reply to this forgettable fixture. Oh hang on, there’s Jan Molby at the mic: “Forgettable to some but what about the Dynamos playing Utd off the park, outclassing them in every area of the field. Take the likes of Campellese, Turnbulletin, Roperaroo, the injured Gilesinho. Consider Coweyscatsi who, apart from an unfortunate misunderstanding which led to his own-goal, grew into his new role tonight, accepting the responsibility, and stepping into the fray, striding about the park like a colossus. And what of the goals? A feast for the connoisseur of showboating. Campellese? Campel-easy more like. Roperaroo? 
Leave it out will you, the lad reassembled the flanks exclusively to his own specifications and left Utd searching for the instruction manual. Turnbulletin? A legend isn’t it, a goal-machine. Gilesinho: a Lazarus who showed the Utd back 4 that they should rue the day they didn’t renew his loan. And now it’s back to Gaby in the studio. Hello...Gaby...is anyone there....this is me Jan at the pavilion...anyo...”.
graced by the posteriors of players and pundits were able to muster a reply to this forgettable fixture. Oh hang on, there’s Jan Molby at the mic: “Forgettable to some but what about the Dynamos playing Utd off the park, outclassing them in every area of the field. Take the likes of Campellese, Turnbulletin, Roperaroo, the injured Gilesinho. Consider Coweyscatsi who, apart from an unfortunate misunderstanding which led to his own-goal, grew into his new role tonight, accepting the responsibility, and stepping into the fray, striding about the park like a colossus. And what of the goals? A feast for the connoisseur of showboating. Campellese? Campel-easy more like. Roperaroo? 
Leave it out will you, the lad reassembled the flanks exclusively to his own specifications and left Utd searching for the instruction manual. Turnbulletin? A legend isn’t it, a goal-machine. Gilesinho: a Lazarus who showed the Utd back 4 that they should rue the day they didn’t renew his loan. And now it’s back to Gaby in the studio. Hello...Gaby...is anyone there....this is me Jan at the pavilion...anyo...”.-Constantin Conngiggski is away
Friday, April 4, 2008
Existentialism aids Dynamo's recovery as Utd capitulate late doors
DSPAFC 6Colors of Benetton Utd 5
Att. 51, 456
On the day the curtain came down at the Arena before the Dynamos relocate to Pond Cottages, the visitors had their manager questioned in connection with match fixing in Serie A. Flavio A. Cappella looked on stony faced as his side saw their 5 goal lead whittled away by the Dynamos. Despite the early onslaught of Waddolucci (getting to the by-line like Waddle in his pomp), Aderonskï (a single cracker into the mesh), Conngiggskï (an inside-out diagonal into the lattice), Wolfkaiser (a corker into the wine sack), Al Kinghali showboating like he owned the right hand side of the park (a drive from 35 yards), Roperaroo (embroidered one-touch football straight out of the top drawer), and the ever-informative instruction and leading by example of El Darrylinho,
Utd capitulated in the final minutes to Gilesinho’s long-prepared match-winner. The Dynamos can take a lot of positives out of this one. First the 3 points against their main rivals for the title, second the comeback, third the resolve, fourth the belief, fifth the strength in depth, sixth the positives hidden in between these positives and seventh those which form when the negatives are combined. Coweyscatsi ‘tween the bark was a revelation, Campellese in the engine room a self-multiplying asset, Garrattino a powerhouse up and down the turf, Gizzabaldi a shetland pony, Michaelides a strolling player upon a stage with a powerful soliloquy to boot and Gilesinho a predatory force to be reckoned with. "To be or not to be next goal the winner" he intoned before belting the sphere into the oblivion of the Benetton net and making his exit stage right. As the lights went down on referee Jorge Satantango’s last fixture at the Arena, he had to deal with a catalogue of controversies straight out of the FIFA handbook of unlikely what-ifs in the You Are the Ref appendices. Foremost among these was the contested 6th goal for the Dynamos. Video playback confirms its occurrence but try telling that to Aderonskï who faces a two match ban for his persistent protestations about the 'non-being' of the 6th goal. Quoting St Germain legend Jean-Paul Sartre and goalkeeping wunderkind Albert Camus to 
the fourth official will have done little to advance his cause. It was still all to 
play for at the pavilion where Lorro questioned the tactical nous of the Dynamos and Hansen alleged defensive mayhem in the Utd back 4. Gavin Peacock praised the staying power of Gilesinho and the ‘engine’ of Campellese. "You've got to say that the two lads have only gone and done what Dynamos supremo Juande Vamos has told them to do, 
that's to keep going for the full 9o", he added from the comfort of his blue and purple wide-striped shirt. "The gaffer's been reading the players John Terry's treatise on Being and Nothingness at bedtimes and you've only got to look at the results to see the dividends the Dynamos are taking out of the centre-half's synopsis of the 600+ pages of existentialist tactics", observed Jan Molby. Gaby Logan asked Benetton's assistant manager Xavier Xerox about the alleged showboating of the Dynamos (who until last week were themselves coached by the quixotic Castilian before the petrodollars lured him back to Utd): "Isn't it just a welcome return to the days of the likes of Rodney Marsh?" she asked the perplexed Xerox. 
"Look Gaby, from the perspective of the player on the receiving end of these unnecessary keepie-uppies, followed by a dive header to self round the full back, then a mimed SMS to the the upended defender, which video playback clearly shows as signalling 'l8ers', and a flick onto the near post and a quick lick 'n' stick of a Rizla paper on the keeper's forehead before the rebound is converted into a back-heeled nutmeg into the bolsa de cebollas, you've got to see that they might be a bit miffed with the Dynamos' lack of respect for the opposition".
Marmite PotM was M. Michaelides, while the ‘James’ went to C. Coweyscatsi, the 'Ronaldo' to C. Conngiggskï, the ‘Always believe in...you are Cole, Cole! always believe in your soul’ went to Wolfkaiser.
What a load of legends.
Utd capitulated in the final minutes to Gilesinho’s long-prepared match-winner. The Dynamos can take a lot of positives out of this one. First the 3 points against their main rivals for the title, second the comeback, third the resolve, fourth the belief, fifth the strength in depth, sixth the positives hidden in between these positives and seventh those which form when the negatives are combined. Coweyscatsi ‘tween the bark was a revelation, Campellese in the engine room a self-multiplying asset, Garrattino a powerhouse up and down the turf, Gizzabaldi a shetland pony, Michaelides a strolling player upon a stage with a powerful soliloquy to boot and Gilesinho a predatory force to be reckoned with. "To be or not to be next goal the winner" he intoned before belting the sphere into the oblivion of the Benetton net and making his exit stage right. As the lights went down on referee Jorge Satantango’s last fixture at the Arena, he had to deal with a catalogue of controversies straight out of the FIFA handbook of unlikely what-ifs in the You Are the Ref appendices. Foremost among these was the contested 6th goal for the Dynamos. Video playback confirms its occurrence but try telling that to Aderonskï who faces a two match ban for his persistent protestations about the 'non-being' of the 6th goal. Quoting St Germain legend Jean-Paul Sartre and goalkeeping wunderkind Albert Camus to 
the fourth official will have done little to advance his cause. It was still all to 
play for at the pavilion where Lorro questioned the tactical nous of the Dynamos and Hansen alleged defensive mayhem in the Utd back 4. Gavin Peacock praised the staying power of Gilesinho and the ‘engine’ of Campellese. "You've got to say that the two lads have only gone and done what Dynamos supremo Juande Vamos has told them to do, 
that's to keep going for the full 9o", he added from the comfort of his blue and purple wide-striped shirt. "The gaffer's been reading the players John Terry's treatise on Being and Nothingness at bedtimes and you've only got to look at the results to see the dividends the Dynamos are taking out of the centre-half's synopsis of the 600+ pages of existentialist tactics", observed Jan Molby. Gaby Logan asked Benetton's assistant manager Xavier Xerox about the alleged showboating of the Dynamos (who until last week were themselves coached by the quixotic Castilian before the petrodollars lured him back to Utd): "Isn't it just a welcome return to the days of the likes of Rodney Marsh?" she asked the perplexed Xerox. 
"Look Gaby, from the perspective of the player on the receiving end of these unnecessary keepie-uppies, followed by a dive header to self round the full back, then a mimed SMS to the the upended defender, which video playback clearly shows as signalling 'l8ers', and a flick onto the near post and a quick lick 'n' stick of a Rizla paper on the keeper's forehead before the rebound is converted into a back-heeled nutmeg into the bolsa de cebollas, you've got to see that they might be a bit miffed with the Dynamos' lack of respect for the opposition".Marmite PotM was M. Michaelides, while the ‘James’ went to C. Coweyscatsi, the 'Ronaldo' to C. Conngiggskï, the ‘Always believe in...you are Cole, Cole! always believe in your soul’ went to Wolfkaiser.
What a load of legends.
- Constantin Conngiggski is away
Monday, March 17, 2008
Vamos a la playa oh oh oh as Dynamos rock St Pat's day
DSPAFC 12 St Patrick's Athletic 9
Att. 64,257
Att. 64,257
Well readers I will attempt to report on what was seen 
by many as being the return to form we had all longed for.
Whatever curry was offered pre or post match had an explosive effect on this product of the Dynamo youth academy. Before the shooting pegs of the others had nestled into their respective booties he had taken a new approach. Shoot from any angle.
The Marmite PotM award went by unanimous decision to F. Al Kinghali.
by many as being the return to form we had all longed for.After DSPAFC’s unfortunate exit from the Milk Cup 2008, they bounced back to their old swaggering ways.
The injury hit squad making its way out of the treatment room and some familiar faces returning from loan spells for the cup, enhanced the team not only in number but more importantly in style of play.
Dynamos supremo Juande Vamos has obviously regained control of the dressing room. 
Judging by the new attire and hair styles on display. This was further evident in the shape and formation which on paper seemed risky, but on the night paid dividends.
A challenging 6v5 was on offer for this near capacity crowd to digest. From the off it was on.
Bibbed up, gelled up and booted for the ready, the high vis pros on pitch number one were pumped up to the max.
Normally on such high octane evenings the teams square up, psych each other out, see the pattern develop and pounce when the game plan is on offer.
Not tonight, Al Kinghali playing out of his skin and 
wearing what the tabloids compare to Action Man (Adventurer) civvies, took hold of the sphere and made it his own.
Whatever curry was offered pre or post match had an explosive effect on this product of the Dynamo youth academy. Before the shooting pegs of the others had nestled into their respective booties he had taken a new approach. Shoot from any angle.
One on one, only Conngiggskï to beat, and BAM! In the onion baji sack. Before the opposition had time to gather their thoughts, Bosh! A Vindaloo of a strike went right through the keeper. A poppadom Bomb was soon to follow into the top corner of the Dan-Sack, the opposition were almost motionless, well in defence they pretty much were. More was to follow, late doors when he extracted the last vestiges of the take away with a clinical finish and a naan bread .
By the 20min mark the lesser numbered Limes were 6-1 up. Frustration soon followed, some bitchin’ about the balls, others about the lack of defence and the rest just showboating around the D to avoid a Robbie Keane substitution.
The come-back was inevitable, but how and when? The 5 had an impenetrable defence and try as they did, there seemed to be no answer.
Soon enough Gizzabaldi the squid (see last week’s explanation) got his glory. A couple back and a draw seemed likely for once.
Their comeback hopes were dashed by some Jennings like heroics ‘tween the bark by Waddolucci. He stood his ground and gave it his all. A swerving drive from 25 yards from Wolfkaiser, seen late by the acrobatic keeper, was blocked by his trusted undercarriage. 
His cries of pain were only drowned out by the cheer of appreciation as he bounced back and saved again with his well toned derriere. He gave it everything. He was stretchered off and after 4 wet sponges and 3 polo mints, administered by St Johns Ambulance, he was back for more.
What a Pro.
There was controversy to follow. The hero of the hour had a h
andbag swapping session near the D. Conngiggskï, alone on the wing, had an accidental stepover, through, one on one, and the Hero stopped play. Calling the ball out, Conngiggski, returning from injury, screamed in disgust, earning him a Yellow. 
He threw his designer hat to the turf and kicked, more than once. Earning him a further yellow. Luckily referee Jorge Satantango had another bad day at the office and did not realise that the accused should have had an early bath. We hear that CCTV may offer more on this matter. Word on the street is that at the Pavilion, “it all kicked off, old school” (Lorro). No one has been charged but watch this space.
The tackles, including Waddo’s, were crunching, the passion was high,
the screeching was higher. But the teams gave it their all. The scoreline does not reflect the input. The final score being 12-9, or somewhere in that ballpark.
Close season is looming, and word from Juande Vamos is keep fit, keep focused and judging by Monday's
performance, keep your local Indian T/A in business.
The Marmite PotM award went by unanimous decision to F. Al Kinghali.
Bring on the Anniversary Cup Final (date and location to be confirmed) where stickers will be awarded and the Bristol Cream will flow.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Planetary alignment, strange weather and Spring tides dump Dynamos out of cup
DSPAFC ξ West Dulwich Albion ΨAtt. 22,397
Supernatural or mystical forces were at work tonight, the first time since 1976 that the quarter finals had this look about them, the weather matching that of the same date that year and old rivals facing each other in a rematch of the classic enounter of March the year the cup last went south of the Thames to SE21. On the eve of the Ides of March, the script was written; all it needed was John Motson to sign it off with a 'romance of the cup' commemorative sticker and it was ON! 
The plucky minnows so revere their giant neighbours that they have taken to naming themselves after the players responsible for some of the biggest egos and credit balances in the modern game. By a strange irony this evening they would have to confront the 'real' Roperaroo, Aderonski, Waddolucci, and Gilesinho. Even more bizarrely, it was this very foursome who found themselves either dropped or injured for the home side. And so it was that the virtual versions lined up against the depleted might of the Dynamos, also tonight without Wolfmilktraykaiser, Campelese, El Darrylinho, Al Kinghali, Lohmann and Turnbulletin. With Michelides and Ballsssssterious both cup-tied the romance in the cup was brimming as a windswept Arena welcomed a measly 22,000 souls into its icy embrace.
It is not for nothing that this competition is revered the world over as simply
the best, in the immortal words of Tina Turner, and that everyone in the world even if they couldn't give a toss about football, tunes in their telly at ungodly hours of the day and night if they happen to live a place very far away from the UK, such as for example Brazil, to watch slightly less talented versions of premiership footballers kick the living daylights out of the real ones and maybe steal a victory from sides who couldn't really be arsed at the end of the day because we'd only end up playing Barnsley probably and that's not much of a day out for us or the fans, is it? Early doors 
this proved not to be an exception to the sentiments of Tina Turner's cacophony with the minnows setting out their stickleback and periwinkle stall with a 6-1 lead away to the once swaggering Dynamos.At half-time the great Jan Molby offered insightful punditry on the touchline: "You've got to say that the home side's keeper needn't have bothered with his gloves tonight so far, he had that much of a chance to get near to a touch on the 6 goal salvo that has come west along the South Circular and then a sharp right, taking care to avoid the roadworks on Red Post Hill to knock the Dynamos for 6", observed the walking talking legend. Out came the hair staighteners during Junade Vamos' half-time talk. It seemed to do the trick with Gizzabaldi suddenly finding his range via the use of 'the 
octopus' - a technique said to be inspired by Juande Vamos' advocacy of a large plate of calamari on matchday. As the arms sway from side to side an undulating effect is created reminiscent of the great Jacques Cousteau's period at Marseille which mesmerises the defence and enables the piscine predator to slip through the net. Now pick that one out of your own net, he seemed to say, in a mime show reminiscent of the great Marcel Marceau as he indicated that yes this was the beginning of a 'prison break' and that the home side would indeed dig their way out of the hol
e they had imprisoned themselves in through their
first half debacle. The Dynamos rallied: Coweyscatsi a powerhouse in the midfield hit a brace of top-drawer 'mullets' into the visitor's net. Garrattino hobbling throughout the 90 was not found wanting either and performed a dumbfounding sleight of hand which saw him levitate, reverse mid-air and set off on a decoy flight-path to set Gizzabaldi up. In the D was Constantin 'the glove' Conngiggski who saved late doors twice in quick succession from the rampaging 'Waddolucci'.
octopus' - a technique said to be inspired by Juande Vamos' advocacy of a large plate of calamari on matchday. As the arms sway from side to side an undulating effect is created reminiscent of the great Jacques Cousteau's period at Marseille which mesmerises the defence and enables the piscine predator to slip through the net. Now pick that one out of your own net, he seemed to say, in a mime show reminiscent of the great Marcel Marceau as he indicated that yes this was the beginning of a 'prison break' and that the home side would indeed dig their way out of the hol
e they had imprisoned themselves in through their
first half debacle. The Dynamos rallied: Coweyscatsi a powerhouse in the midfield hit a brace of top-drawer 'mullets' into the visitor's net. Garrattino hobbling throughout the 90 was not found wanting either and performed a dumbfounding sleight of hand which saw him levitate, reverse mid-air and set off on a decoy flight-path to set Gizzabaldi up. In the D was Constantin 'the glove' Conngiggski who saved late doors twice in quick succession from the rampaging 'Waddolucci'.At the other end it was a masterclass in imitation as 'Gilesinho' put on a display of finishing that even the real Gilesinho would take his hat off to. Left, right, left, right, uptown, downtown, Goodnight! he bagged a half dozen or more. 'Aderonski' was somewhat more subdued than his Premiership version but still seemed to have learned a few tricks from him. Not least the psychological toying with Gizzabaldi which saw the Dynamo resort to a two-steps only penalty strike and a double save from the multi-tasking 'Waddolucci'. "Trying to teach a seasoned pro the rules of his own game, sonny boy?" stormed Dynamo assistant manager Xavier Xerox in a fiery post-match interview. Looking every bit the 
part of an understudy who has been watching from the wings waiting for their chance to replace the diva centre stage, 'Roperaroo' skipped through the defence to blow the bloody doors off with an aria that would have left the great Maria Callas during her time with Inter, not to mention the great attacking midfielder himself, out of breath.
part of an understudy who has been watching from the wings waiting for their chance to replace the diva centre stage, 'Roperaroo' skipped through the defence to blow the bloody doors off with an aria that would have left the great Maria Callas during her time with Inter, not to mention the great attacking midfielder himself, out of breath. Referee Jorge Satantango let the game flow, as befitted this acquatically themed display, this despite some curious decisions regarding advantage played to the home side and choosing to see the gamesmanship of the minnows alleged by Xerox as expressions of respect for the Dynamos.
The home side rallied amid confusing signals on the scoreboard and alleged timewasting by the visitors. "The self-styled 'Waddolucci' made a mockery of the good name of his supposed hero by indulging in a display of timewasting 
not seen since his namesake watched his childhood heros Boro cause him to spend some of the most painful 90 minutes of his spectating career against Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink's Cardiff last weekend". The rancour of the Dynamos could do nothing to hide the fact that behind the elusive scoreline, no matter which way you read the tealeaves, it looked like another shock exit from the cup.
not seen since his namesake watched his childhood heros Boro cause him to spend some of the most painful 90 minutes of his spectating career against Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink's Cardiff last weekend". The rancour of the Dynamos could do nothing to hide the fact that behind the elusive scoreline, no matter which way you read the tealeaves, it looked like another shock exit from the cup.The Marmite PotM award (sticker) went, by unanimous decision, to G. Gilesinho, while the Ahh! Bisto goal of the match went to A. Roperaroo while the 'magical moments' stickers were shared between C. Conngiggski and M. Waddollucci for goalkeeping excellence.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Attic overcrowded as Dynamos rewrite classic
Claptonspecialbrew Athletic 8
Dynamo Staropremium AFC 8
Att. 32, 409
A classic, classique, classico: whatever language it was, the general consensus
was this was a night of majestical football. The post-match analysis combined with the MotD2 team’s own opinions held this encounter up there with the all time best.
With the season drawing to a close all who took to the field of dreams were playing for their bib. Be it Tangerine or Lime, they invested their vests with the zesty passion we have come to expect of this bunch of citric footballing fruitbowl inhabitants. The mood in the camp has been at an all season high. The banter, the wet towel flicking pre and post match, the text messaging in the final third, have shown a unity and cameraderie which is surpassed only by Spurs' line-dancing spectacular after their Milk Cup glory week at Faces Discotheque.
As the Nolan sisters (later simply the Nolans and a formidable 5-a-side team in their own right) once memorably sang: “Dance...Go on and dance...ooh let’s dance...”. These words seem appropriate on a night when the teams took on the
sentiment expressed in the very next line of the song and gave it their all tonight. The squad was strengthened not only in number, but, more importantly, in depth. Those returning from the oxygen tents and the new in vogue method used by Andy Murray, a Steam Yoga session, showed great form and willingness in the challenge. Aderonski and Garrattino sharpened their shooting boots as the evening progressed and the increase in accuracy can be seen throughout the 90 in the adjacent chart. Claptonspecialbrew Athletic, playing at their homeground 'The Attic', and now, in the roundabout of Premiership managerial appointments, under Makkapakka McClaren (who left DSPAFC pocketing a hefty settlement fee, which he added to the wad of cash he trousered in his departure from Colors of Benetton just 5 days into his appointment) may have returned triumphant from their 2-0 victory away to Steaua Bucharest 
but that doesn’t put the porridge on the table in the more domestic context of the Premiership dining salon with PlaystationTM annex that is today’s game.
The 6v6 option chosen by Juande Vamos this evening was brave. At the off it seemed a tad confusing for those not familiar to this system. Namely all who donned the bib. A 1-4 or a flat 5 stonewall? It changed
dramatically throughout, in the ebb and flow of this relentless attack-minded sporting exhibition. A clash of Titans some say. A showcase for the modern game say others. A cornucopia of threaded passes and embroidered doilies in the final third of the pitch say others.
It was on, even before it was ON!
Gizzabaldi set his stall out very early doors: he must have been up at the crack of dawn to prepare himself for his new approach to this game. Before the stonewall rendering had even set itself, he combined with his team-mate (unknown due to your correspondent’s multi-tasking in the home side’s D) to score the goal he had been rehearsing in his mind all season. The sphere sat up, like a puppydog begging to be patted on the noggin; then it became clear what he had here: not a puppy after all but a mouthwatering soufflé, 6 eggs lightly whisked, gas mark 6 for 6 minutes.
Fan-assisted, the finest example of home-baking the striker had seen for several years awaited his approval. When he had chosen his next move, it was a possessed strike. The boy had to have sold his soul, to enable him thus to levitate, no strings, and hammer the beast to its doom in the sack of onions/garlic. As it ignited and formed a toxic pool in the corner of Conngiggskï’s goal many could foresee that this was to be no ordinary football game.
Referee Jorge Satatango, the crowd, players and admin staff all stood still for a full 12.4seconds. As if awaiting an action replay on the big screen. Sadly we had to wait till 10.30 BBC7 for that treat. It was very reminiscent of Ronaldinho’s goal on Saturday in La Liga. Youtube, you may well crash once these two gadflies of football get their 60 seconds of fame.
But this was only the beginning. He followed on to get his Striker’s Pure Hat-trick. Left, right and a half bicycle kick.
.
It was tight in all areas. The near miss became the norm, with the usual champions of the almost area striking well wide of the mark, sometimes wide of the corner flag. Every ball was contested. Oh what a crowd pleaser. Showboating was at an all time high: stepovers, shimmies, nutmegs, what a night, and all this with a congested mid-field.
The squad and rotation system played their parts. Roperaroo, the solid goal a match insurance policy, again took his opportunity and he too could hold the double sided sticker for goal of the month. It was a feast of feasts. The newly named Ballack Milktraykaiser played his usual flawless game, hollering at his team-mates to fall back. No hang on there not that much. This however became his own decoy, to plant a fine match winning glory goal, to befit any match, on any other day (but would this be such a day?).
Jean-Michel Turnbulletin did not, for a change, get his double figure of deposits in the sac d’oignons. He was kept relatively quiet on the goalscoring front by new signing Michelides in a contest of chess-like complexity. He did however get his just rewards in the end. Twist, turn and, finger to lips to the home-crowd, he let the ball whisper a “don’t mess with me” warning to the home fans. The trademark celebration as he recreated the final scene from episode 27 of Bonanza left the Arena silenced.
Waddolucci had a barn-storming game, not only ‘tween the barks, but on the flanks, Whippet-like running and crisp passing. Yes it was a case of in-in-one in the players’ car-park, just as he had predicted in a pre-match press conference. Another beneficiary of Juande Vamos' attention to nutrition, the urbane attacking midfielder (who would have been called a winger in former times - not his own of course)
has reportedly reduced his wine glass size at the pavilion from large to medium. Science has its part to play in the modern game and no mistake!!!! Coweyscatsi masterminded operations from the holding position in midfield, deploying the lexicon of the Bingo hall as code, while Seve Ballesssssterious looked anything but below par, despite a bogey in an edge of the D one-on-one with the bunker patrolled by 'Brylcreme'TM Conngiggski.
In a night of linguistic mayhem “Calamity Jesse James Jennings” Conngiggskï, still nursing a mangled Metatarsal, stayed as Keeper of the Grail for the full 90. He was praised no end for his endeavours and diving saves straight out of the top drawer. However on reflection he has, with “No Dis” to the sponsors, refused his Marmite Sticker. “Basically, having let in 8 on the night, I feel I could have done a bit better. I was looking for a clean sheet, and while I came close I didn't come close enough”.
The challenge of the night was one for the http://www.tacklesofdistinction.com/ scrapbook: Waddolucci tracking back to shoulder Wolfkaiser and edging him off the ball. What a legendary meeting of Ws with a wery wery supwising outcome (surprising for all except that is Juande Vamos and the team nutritionist).
My Gosh it brings back emotions of glee which I cannot compa
re to any other sporting event since 1965. We, the sponsors, supporters and most of all football itself won on this night of the inevitable draw. 8-8.
“Oh what a night” came up over the tannoy and the dancing began in earnest.
Marmite PotM: step up G. Gizzabaldi, while the Southall (headband and sticker) goes to C. Conngiggski.
Dynamo Staropremium AFC 8
Att. 32, 409
A classic, classique, classico: whatever language it was, the general consensus
was this was a night of majestical football. The post-match analysis combined with the MotD2 team’s own opinions held this encounter up there with the all time best.With the season drawing to a close all who took to the field of dreams were playing for their bib. Be it Tangerine or Lime, they invested their vests with the zesty passion we have come to expect of this bunch of citric footballing fruitbowl inhabitants. The mood in the camp has been at an all season high. The banter, the wet towel flicking pre and post match, the text messaging in the final third, have shown a unity and cameraderie which is surpassed only by Spurs' line-dancing spectacular after their Milk Cup glory week at Faces Discotheque.
As the Nolan sisters (later simply the Nolans and a formidable 5-a-side team in their own right) once memorably sang: “Dance...Go on and dance...ooh let’s dance...”. These words seem appropriate on a night when the teams took on the
sentiment expressed in the very next line of the song and gave it their all tonight. The squad was strengthened not only in number, but, more importantly, in depth. Those returning from the oxygen tents and the new in vogue method used by Andy Murray, a Steam Yoga session, showed great form and willingness in the challenge. Aderonski and Garrattino sharpened their shooting boots as the evening progressed and the increase in accuracy can be seen throughout the 90 in the adjacent chart. Claptonspecialbrew Athletic, playing at their homeground 'The Attic', and now, in the roundabout of Premiership managerial appointments, under Makkapakka McClaren (who left DSPAFC pocketing a hefty settlement fee, which he added to the wad of cash he trousered in his departure from Colors of Benetton just 5 days into his appointment) may have returned triumphant from their 2-0 victory away to Steaua Bucharest 
but that doesn’t put the porridge on the table in the more domestic context of the Premiership dining salon with PlaystationTM annex that is today’s game.The 6v6 option chosen by Juande Vamos this evening was brave. At the off it seemed a tad confusing for those not familiar to this system. Namely all who donned the bib. A 1-4 or a flat 5 stonewall? It changed
dramatically throughout, in the ebb and flow of this relentless attack-minded sporting exhibition. A clash of Titans some say. A showcase for the modern game say others. A cornucopia of threaded passes and embroidered doilies in the final third of the pitch say others.It was on, even before it was ON!
Gizzabaldi set his stall out very early doors: he must have been up at the crack of dawn to prepare himself for his new approach to this game. Before the stonewall rendering had even set itself, he combined with his team-mate (unknown due to your correspondent’s multi-tasking in the home side’s D) to score the goal he had been rehearsing in his mind all season. The sphere sat up, like a puppydog begging to be patted on the noggin; then it became clear what he had here: not a puppy after all but a mouthwatering soufflé, 6 eggs lightly whisked, gas mark 6 for 6 minutes.
Fan-assisted, the finest example of home-baking the striker had seen for several years awaited his approval. When he had chosen his next move, it was a possessed strike. The boy had to have sold his soul, to enable him thus to levitate, no strings, and hammer the beast to its doom in the sack of onions/garlic. As it ignited and formed a toxic pool in the corner of Conngiggskï’s goal many could foresee that this was to be no ordinary football game.Referee Jorge Satatango, the crowd, players and admin staff all stood still for a full 12.4seconds. As if awaiting an action replay on the big screen. Sadly we had to wait till 10.30 BBC7 for that treat. It was very reminiscent of Ronaldinho’s goal on Saturday in La Liga. Youtube, you may well crash once these two gadflies of football get their 60 seconds of fame.
But this was only the beginning. He followed on to get his Striker’s Pure Hat-trick. Left, right and a half bicycle kick.
.
It was tight in all areas. The near miss became the norm, with the usual champions of the almost area striking well wide of the mark, sometimes wide of the corner flag. Every ball was contested. Oh what a crowd pleaser. Showboating was at an all time high: stepovers, shimmies, nutmegs, what a night, and all this with a congested mid-field.
The squad and rotation system played their parts. Roperaroo, the solid goal a match insurance policy, again took his opportunity and he too could hold the double sided sticker for goal of the month. It was a feast of feasts. The newly named Ballack Milktraykaiser played his usual flawless game, hollering at his team-mates to fall back. No hang on there not that much. This however became his own decoy, to plant a fine match winning glory goal, to befit any match, on any other day (but would this be such a day?).
Jean-Michel Turnbulletin did not, for a change, get his double figure of deposits in the sac d’oignons. He was kept relatively quiet on the goalscoring front by new signing Michelides in a contest of chess-like complexity. He did however get his just rewards in the end. Twist, turn and, finger to lips to the home-crowd, he let the ball whisper a “don’t mess with me” warning to the home fans. The trademark celebration as he recreated the final scene from episode 27 of Bonanza left the Arena silenced.
Waddolucci had a barn-storming game, not only ‘tween the barks, but on the flanks, Whippet-like running and crisp passing. Yes it was a case of in-in-one in the players’ car-park, just as he had predicted in a pre-match press conference. Another beneficiary of Juande Vamos' attention to nutrition, the urbane attacking midfielder (who would have been called a winger in former times - not his own of course)
has reportedly reduced his wine glass size at the pavilion from large to medium. Science has its part to play in the modern game and no mistake!!!! Coweyscatsi masterminded operations from the holding position in midfield, deploying the lexicon of the Bingo hall as code, while Seve Ballesssssterious looked anything but below par, despite a bogey in an edge of the D one-on-one with the bunker patrolled by 'Brylcreme'TM Conngiggski.In a night of linguistic mayhem “Calamity Jesse James Jennings” Conngiggskï, still nursing a mangled Metatarsal, stayed as Keeper of the Grail for the full 90. He was praised no end for his endeavours and diving saves straight out of the top drawer. However on reflection he has, with “No Dis” to the sponsors, refused his Marmite Sticker. “Basically, having let in 8 on the night, I feel I could have done a bit better. I was looking for a clean sheet, and while I came close I didn't come close enough”.
The challenge of the night was one for the http://www.tacklesofdistinction.com/ scrapbook: Waddolucci tracking back to shoulder Wolfkaiser and edging him off the ball. What a legendary meeting of Ws with a wery wery supwising outcome (surprising for all except that is Juande Vamos and the team nutritionist).
My Gosh it brings back emotions of glee which I cannot compa
re to any other sporting event since 1965. We, the sponsors, supporters and most of all football itself won on this night of the inevitable draw. 8-8.“Oh what a night” came up over the tannoy and the dancing began in earnest.
Marmite PotM: step up G. Gizzabaldi, while the Southall (headband and sticker) goes to C. Conngiggski.
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