Pastures new on pitch number 2

It was brave, it was daunting, it was challenging but it was a thrilling evening for the chaps of DSPAFC. They came kitted out, with their usual keenness for the Monday night encounter, but what was ahead of them was a whole new ball game. A game of many halves, of many challenges and the learning curve was steep beyond belief. It was vertical. Alton Towers has nothing compared to the thrill of the velocity of not only determination but pride in the badge which these sportsmen underwent this night. It was MAC 4.

It began as per normal, straggling onto the field of many dreams with a mere 4 arriving before the 8.15 watershed. We were approached by an agent. “Are you short tonight? Do you want to play with us?”. It brought back many memories of my far distant past. “No you can’t go out to play” muttered the DSPAFC Superego. We came together in a Chelsea-like Mourinho-influenced huddle and eventually agreed to go to pastures new, Pitch No. 2.

We had, eventually, a strong 8, Vs their 5. It was ON.
It was obvious even before the off, the numbers did not stack up. We had to do some tactical readjustments. Initially Woolard-Aderonski offered himself up for a cameo role with the High-Visibility United opponents, but to the amazement of all, the Wolf, the protector of the Holy Grail of the Three-posted Nirvana, offered not only his skills, his soul but also potentially his new 13yr contract to the enemy. He looked good it must be said, in the High Vis home strip, but it sent shudders down the spines and back up the toned abs of the Dynamos. Tickly!

It was a great start, with the home side taking an early lead through the almost birthday boy, Gizzabaldi. The strike of a man with no celebration in mind but that of the greater good of his team. A glorious start, followed by a sweeping move which saw the visitors into a 2 goal lead via an expertly converted chance by Gilesinho. They were playing the home side off the park.

And that was it, in regards to goals for a long spell. The rivals rallied however and should have been 5-2 up within 25mins was it not for the heroics of Conngiggskï (no editorial influence here, but let’s be fair) and the star keeper of the night Garrattino. The Cat! Dino Zoff in his pomp! Mervyn Day (on a good day)!

Aderonskï was a Tony Adams in disguise this night. Directing, Shouting, and pointing (even swearing). He was a colossus in the dream team. His knowledge and control from the back were paying dividends. We were, it must be said, looking good. Crisp, fluent and moving. Tempo tempo tempo! But the end product was not quite there. Gilesinho was looking like a young Lee Sharpe (before his Love Island, Hair Transplant endorsing time, but at his peak as a Coke-snorting, raving, highly tuned, wonderfully coiffed footballer straight out of the top drawer). He was on fire. We were playing for our badge with pride.

The vertical tuition spiralled to a desperate level, when we reached rock bottom. Trailing 5-2 within a mere ten minutes left on the clock. The doom we envisaged was further enhanced by Wolfkaiser’s showboating on the edge of the D with step-overs and involutes worthy of Little Littbarski in his pomp, and multiple goal scoring. He was loving his new challenge and boy will he live to regret it at the Xmas Players’ Dinner and Dancing soirée. “He seemed a little too familiar to his new team-mates “(Anon). Everything went through the new signing from Bayern. “Give it to Wolf, Wolf is Free, where is Wolf???”

Let’s await the movements during the January window. All could become clear.
The home side on the night were competent, let’s not dispute this factor, but the David Beckham, mohawlk fella was a “one trick pony” (Anon) with no fewer that 32 sideways-backheels performed on the night.

As the floodlights headed toward shutdown the DSPAFC 6 summoned everything they had for one last effort. Surging forward like the Stoke City team of 1974 they carved open the HiVis Utd back 4 like squirrels tucking into their store of nuts and berries. Al Kinghali ghosted in for a sidefooter. 5-3. Then a sweeping counter-attack straight out of the Ardiles-Villa handbook circa 1977. Garrattino, the Schmeichel-like wonderboy, to Conngiggskï who has cut down on the shimmies and stepovers tonight sensing what is at stake, to Coweyscatsi (unlucky earlier with his trademark 25-yarder onto the post), looking confident on the ball now, deftly past the Mohawk, to Gilesinho who looks up, come on lads he seems to be saying, feel your badge branding your chest like that one mince pie too many at the office party, and who was there: Al-Kinghali to receive the ball and he pirouettes the ball off to Gizzabaldi who zigs down the line, forgetting to zag, oh but he seems to know what he’s doing, there’s the cross to the rampaging Aderonskï who enterprisingly hits it first time like a hot toddy down the hatch. Oh it’s too hot to handle for Mohawk and it’s there. 5-4. Again the DSPAFC heroes surged forward. A disputed foul on the edge of D with who else but Gizzabaldi tumbling and looking to referee Jorge Satantango. The fourth official has been controversially emailed via the ref’s Blackberry. Time seems to stand still. He points for the free kick, Gizzabaldi dummies it right to Garrattino. He's just over with a side-footer due to the inferior replacement ball which the home side had introduced. The final whistle sounds at the Arena and it's all over bar the punditry. They'll be debating that ball-replacement for some time to come.

There was much to relish back at the pavilion - and it wasn't just the seasonal spread laid on by Coweyscatsi - where the Marmite PotM award went by unanimous (sshhome misshhtake sshhurely) decision to both A. Woolard-Aderonski (sticker) and W. Wolfkaiser (sticker withheld until after the January window). An extra PotM award went to the whole DSPAFC team (stickers), with the David James award for flamboyant goalkeeping going to M. Garrattino.