Dynamos pass MOT as brave effort fails to keep Pecker up

DSPAFC 11
Peckhamwoodpeckersiders AFC 10

Aderonskï, Ballsssssterious, Conngiggskï, Gizzabaldi, Campellese,
Coweyscatsi, Wolfkaiser, Roperaroo, Turnbulletin, Al Kinghali, Waddolucci

Normality returned to DSPAFC at least in formation with a flat 4 across the back and a roving utility player with interchangeable identities making up the rest of the team . The tactics were another matter. What a resource for the pundits trying to make sense of this!!!!!

The pundits knew it would be a big occasion; the crowd came with an air of anticipation for this local derby with the woodpeckersiders and left satisfied. As Gavin Peacock suggested, what more could you ask for?

After a barren spell with the squad depleted of numbers recently we anticipated a squad choice which Dynamos supremo Juande Vamos would have sleepless nights dwelling over.
Overseas sabbaticals done with, scouting trips completed the usual promos for Nike and Umbro in the editing suite and the air supply for the oxygen tent spent, they were ready and then some !!!!!
ON! Oh indeedie it was!

Keenness was much in evidence, with Seve Ballssssssterious seen climbing the security net at the hour of 7.45 and entering the stadium directly into the midst of the North End faithful where he joked with them about joining them for a pre-match bacon buttie and a light ale. Oh yes we like this approach. Bibs, recently washed with a new fragrant additive, were dispensed with rusty hesitation by the prodigal son Gizzabaldi, returning from overseas talks.
Oh my word, the near capacity crowd were treated early doors to an early goal straight out of the top drawer. The tangerines hit the ground running while the Lime Greens started on the back foot. Bish, Bash Bosh it was in the sac with Conngiggskï’s early strike on the run - yes on the run, “a rarity for him, with the addition of the loosely torn coriander just enabling the ball to go beyond the outstretched legs of the defence and stricken Peckahamwoodpeckersiders keeper” as Motty noted in his commentary.
It was touch-tight in midfield all night and the tackles were flying, Lovely stuff, it must be said, with only the occasional bit of simulation. Colors of Benetton supremo Flavio A. Cappella had issued a stern rebuke during the week to the growing tribes of simulators in the Premiership, and he seemed to have the Dynamos in particular in his sights as the mind games intensify in the run-up to the title. “Where does it end though? Conngiggskï goes over just outside the D, for me it’s a stonewall free-kick, but the lad Coweyscatsi recreates the supposed simulation for the camera’s benefit. Now you try telling Dynamo’s supremo Juande Vamos that that in itself is not simulation, and I’ll buy you a large frappucino the next time I see you in the Chelsea VIP lounge”, commented Gavin Peacock.

After his recent absence from the teamsheet, (allegedly partying with Ronaldinho in da Clubs) Wolfkaiser staked his claim on the engine room. Nothing was getting through his patch. Word in the tabloids this week has centred on his flamboyant outfit. Lee “E Loving” Sharpe on Match of the Day 6 was suffering flashbacks and loving it, the moonlighting camera man Waddolucci was having a mare behind the viewfinder, with the glare from the Uber-Vis combo of lycra and midfield play straight out of the top drawer. As the season draws to a close, “is he enhancing his presence on the pitch for possible transfer season or merely ensuring the crowd is able to follow his every move?”, Jim Beglin quizzed listeners on liveyourfootballhereandnowliveradio.com.
Goals came thick and fast all night in a contest to remember, until Campellese took a turn and damaged his knee. It looked bad at first, but like the pro he is, had his Lucozade and sat on the bench to see out the game. What an asset!
Top drawer saves from both camps (Coweyscatsi and Conngiggskï in particular) kept the scoreline true to the game and after another night of the near miss, it was a draw, yes even stevens with the clock ticking. Again Coweyscatsi missed the call for next goal wins, two weeks running and was last seen following referee Jorge Satantango to the dressing room for a chat.
Thank God for video technology: the final goal was captured and it was a beauty. On the break a flowing movement involving the whole team ended with Conngiggskï powering it home on the turn. Followed by high fives and celebrations to befit the game. Lovely, except for the peckersiders who will surely have a clear-out of the dressing room on their way down into Championship next season. “The arithmetic is against us with only a possible 6 points out of two games against a deficit of the 8 we’d need to stay up, so it looks like unless there is a miracle we’ll be going down” observed Sammy Smallerdyce.
In the post match chat Jan Mölby was feeling the game, Lorro saw a lot of plusses and Hansen thought the defence needed a lot of work in training, especially at set pieces. I for one can not remember any, but who am I to question the candle wax lover from Scotland?
Waddolucci, although sidelined, still was putting in planning permission for his allotments and was joined by Coweyscatsi; multiple toys were extracted from the pram and strewn around the pavilion while Juande Vamos threatened to dock wages and confiscated all playstations for a day. It calmed down there and then. He has gained the respeck he deserves from his troops.
Marmite Man of the match went to S. Ballsssssssterious, calm, crisp and eager, an engine just after its service.

Roll on next week, lovin’ it. Ahhhh Bisto! Goals of the match to Conngiggskï for his starter for 6, his brace in between and most of all the glorious matchwinner, while the match ball was shared between a double brace of hatrickers.
Respeck.