Friday, May 30, 2008

Dynamos combine mathematics, geometry and flava to claim title late doors

Colors of Benetton Utd 11
DSPAFC 14

Att. 54,777


Turnbulletin, El Darrylinho, Coweyscatsi, Di Parma, Garrattino

Conngiggski, Hoganfemimartins, Al Kinghali, Campellese, Gizzabaldi

Colors of Benetton supremo Flavio Acappella sent out his team a player short for this crucial 12 pointer against a full contintental-strength Staropremium. Unveiling new signing Jan Hoganfemimartins, Dynamos supremo Juande Vamos revealed he had not just one but no less than 8 aces up his sleeve as the new boy put his mark on the match early doors. The onion sack hadn't done this much business since the EEC onion mountain crisis of 1976. Highlights included a swerving dipping Roberto Carlos from Turnbulletin with Campellese unsighted, a toe-poke "on the valve" by Conngiggski from a well-worked set piece, Coweyscatsi's 'digestif' to finish off an excellent dining experience at the table of a Michelin starred chef, Gizzabaldi's levitation to save from Garrattino's supberb volley and the return to the bark of the home side by El Darrylinho. "The title went to the Dynamos tonight but there was only a point in it at the end of the day Gary, and you've got to question the wisdom of Benetton supremo sending out a team with one player missing," observed Gavin Peacock." It's basic schoolboy stuff," Ally Hansen continued, "you've got to use the maximum number of players on your team allowed by FIFA regulations. Acappella made the wrong decisions here tonight and at the end of the day it's cost them them the title." As the pundits on MotD 7 wound up for the last time this season, the final word was left to Jan Molby: "For the purist the title going down the road to the Cottages has got to be a plus. The Dynamos had it all this season: panache, grit, flamboyance, worcester sauce, innovation, flair, coriander - the complete package." The big question on everyone's lips was, in the words of Motty, "can Benetton have their revenge at the Parc des Princes next Tuesday?".

Marmite: Jan Hoganfemimartins; Southall (headband): El Darrylihno; Ahh Bisto!: Al Kinghali for a double brace 'n' a oner of identical goals from a left 35 degree angle, 5 metres from the centre of the Benetton goal into the far corner.





Comedy Capers add flavour to Dynamos victory



Constantin Conngiggski writes:



Once the away side fielded the newly introduced 5-6 FIFA regulation early doors (4 years early) the teams settled down to a right ding dong. The slate was wiped clean and it was anyone's game. And so it was!

"Mid-game it was a continuous rollercoaster ride of play, end to end stuff which swung in roundabouts," Lee Sharpe still on a comedown, post 1998 season, commented from the sidelines at half-time, quizzed by Garth Crooks.
Thwack!! it smacked Conngiggski's Undercarriage, Petchwoing! it carressed the toned cheek of new wonder boy Hoganfemimartins and Ceeerpowwww!! repelled off the butt of Gizzabaldi. Molby commented they gave it their all tonight, they were the Nolan sisters of the game.
The Riddler - AKA Al Kinghali - of the wing, wound up the near capacity crowd with his slow motion, yet deceptively penetrating runs and totted up his season total to near record breaking levels. The legendary Rude Gullet is looking over his shoulder, and make no mistake!
While the Joker Coweyscatsi spent the whole game winding up anyone who came his way with Japes and wise-cracks which left the opponents bemused to the point of loosing their shape completely.

"No one team were winners this eve, we were all winners, the crowd, and squirrels were pleased no end, the kids on the sidelines itching for a game, but not quite ready, and the players themselves. No medals can compare to this experience," said Paul McGrath promoting his latest book The Missing Years. The season is close to its finale, the passions are high, who knows what will happen next Tuesday, all I know is I will be there to witness these mansions of men strutting their stuff. Fabulous!

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