Dynamos outclass Villa as Clough wisdom fails to salve O'Neill's wounds

Gaviscon Villa 2
Dynamostaropremium AFC 8


Gaviscon Villa slipped further out of the premiership race as the Dynamos converted numerical advantage into the hard currency of balls in the onion sack. The visiting champions-elect hit 7 goals in 20 minutes to run out 8-2 victors. Tomarshavin Crosslycostly hit the Ahh Bisto! goal of the match from 25 yards and took away the Bovril PotM to boot. Freser Al Kinghali was a revelation 'tween the bark and secured himself the honour of a 'Southall' commemorative headband. Controversy was never far away with the home side complaining about the "unresponsive balls" but with several Dynamos players celebrating the newfound accuracy of their cross-field passes. Certainly row H behind the goals has never been as little visited by wayward shots as it was tonight. "It was a defender's worst nightmare tonight" commented Ally Hansen "a yellow lump of plastic hurtling into the box and it could have gone anywhere. Unbelievable". "FIFA are going to have to look at the new balls again. The purist is going to want to see a bit more arsing about and that just isn't possible with the new hi-viz toe-breakers" added Jan Molby. "Look, if new signing Tomarshavin Crosslycostly can hit the thing from 25 yards I don't see what all the fuss is about, and my players just didn't show up today and if you don't show up on the day there is absolutely no point in pulling on a tracksuit a v-neck will do, as Brian Clough used to say" commented Gaviscon Villa supremo, Smartin O'Neill.