Do you know who scored the winning goal last week?
Do you know someone who does?
Return the winning goal to its rightful owner!
Friday, November 30, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
Revolving doors at the Arena as DSPAFC meet themselves on the way back
Football, it is often said, is like that. What exactly the that is is a matter of debate. But one thing is for sure: anyone lucky enough to have witnessed this classic encounter at the DSPAFC Arena is likely to have gone away knowing just a little more about the ‘that’ of “that’s football”. 30 seconds into the match, three touches sent the ball to Waddolucci who hit the size 5 first time to be cruelly denied by the upright. The counter attack saw the visitors stretch to a 3-1 lead with emphatic finishes about which the keeper could do little, three goals going in without time to kick off between them. But it is a funny old game, isn’t it. Complacency set in and the home side were soon on level terms, squeezing into a 5-4 lead with 10 minutes left on the clock. “Barbara Woodhouse” called out Coweyscatsi. And he didn’t mean “walkies” (mind you he wouldn’t have needed to encourage his defenders to indulge in the latter). 
Hold onto their lead they did, with valiant goal-line clearances by the superfly keeper. Stirring stuff indeed. The match was levelled with Gizzabaldi’s fluke nutmeg (very seasonal) through Waddolucci’s legs, Garrattino hit a cracker (again very seasonal) for 5-6 and A.N. Other (see next post) sealed victory. There were a few contenders for a new award, the Scott Carson sticker and chewing gum for services to fumbled saves, but the blushes of W. Wolfkaiser were spared as Waddolucci contributed a trio of ‘Carsons’ to Wolfkaiser’s mere one ‘Robinson’. 
Pipped at the post. Roperaroo had a mixed night, solid tackling and strong positional sense paying off with a goal. He competed with Gizzabaldi for miss of the night however, both open goals proving too narrow for their open minds. The chances to goals conversion rate of Al-Kinghali and Gilesinho was a matter of debate, the matter and the debate going somewhere but via a circuitous route. Campallese was a stalwart in defence, midfield, attack, wings, in the holding role and in the bit that no-one has a name for, Coweyscatsi curled one round the wall from 30 yards but hit the post, and Wolfkaiser was inspired in his one-twos at the edge of the area. 
Referee Jorge Satantango had a tough match with several tackles straight out of Robbie Savage’s scrapbook and several controversial high ball decisions that no doubt had the pundits divided in the pavilion. The home side can take a lot of pluses out of this match – it’s just a matter of finding them first. A time for reflection this week: check your pockets, they might be there. DSPAFC have a lot to do if they are to revive their hopes of European football next season.Constantin Conngiggski is away
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Da Silva lining to a dirty evening….
Well readers, I have a report to match any of the past post-match entries, I hope.
It was a filthy, dirty, wet, thundering with rain, miserable night, but who gives a SHITE. It was a Monday so we dared to go where few would have even contemplated, onto the field of dreams in a Monsoon Monday Extravaganza. What a show of camaraderie and dedication. It was a little worrying on the way through the tunnel, but lo and behold, the Sunderland Legend was there and It Was On. No sooner had we entered the arena when we saw fellow
worshippers of the sphere, it was pissin’ it down but it bounced off these toned-torsoed athletes as they swaggered onto the turf of opportunity: we were united against the elements.
Again the injury-hit DSPAFC (this time playing under the banner of a Rest of the World IV) showed little weakness in the standard of play, merely in the number playing. It was a “so last century” 4 v 5 tonight with a bibless look. As mentioned in previous articles, the bib situation is always an area for discussion and debate, so I am a little limited here. Just to say there were none. ‘nough said.
We welcomed with open arms a possible transfer opportunity in Jan 2008, K. Da Silva-Fox. He had flown in, with no expense spared, via Ryanair, for the event. Boy was he eager. He had the drive and gusto of the level we have almost become accustomed to. He was charming in the introductions but that is where it ended. The only charming he did after that was his caressing of the match ball. What a find!!!!!
The night was looking like a dull prospect, with the chaps from pitch no.3 askin’ for a contest. Der Kaiser, politely, telling them that the level of play would be beyond even their dreams. So we got on with it, old stylee. The Irish trio, UCC (Re)United for one night only, along with adoptive sons Aderonskï and Al-Kinghali looked on for a solid win, but as ever it was an even contest, with little to spare as goals were exchanged in a end to end topsy-turvy whirlpool of swirling side-footers, punishing pile-drivers and cheeky chips. 7-8 to UCC (Re)United with minutes remaining on the clock. Take it into the corners, watch your house, touch-tight: all the standard advice was spurned by UCC as they continued to play from the back. This Croatian approach did not seem suited to the astroturf surface on the night.
Nonetheless it looked like Da Silva-Fox as the find of the transfer window with 2 wonder strikes, both from outside the area. He made space, he was composed and took both with the accuracy one would expect from a seasoned pro. First the left then the right. On both occasions he showed his trademark, showboating, inside-out shimmy. How the crowd cheered! The first deservedly being rewarded the Marmite Goal of the Night. (stickers to be sent, Airmail). Enjoy Da Silva.
Gizzabaldi surprised all, by what is thought to be the first headed attempt at goal for a good 9 months and was also to play a major part in giving the first and second ever fouls of the league. (we will lose points in the Fair Play League, but fair play to honesty). This was marred by the tetchy approach of the whites. High ball calls, claims of seeing daylight, when we were in a downpour at 8.46pm in November, were seen by one newcomer as being "a bit Smokey Joe”..??????
The Bovril PotMA, by unanimous decision, went to Coweyscatsi. On an Alamo of a night, one could say, he was as impervious to shots on goal as his locks were to the precipitation. What a star!!!!
Garrattino and Gilesinho both had stylish finishes for DSPAFC/Restotheworld IV as befitted their attire and faultless coiffure – despite the downpour. Der Kaiser was off his sickbed but you would not think this was a player who but 2 hours previous had had his feet in a hot basin of water, a thermometer in his gob and a lemsip in his hand. What a Lazarus. A wooly cap and he was off. Aderonski threaded the ball left, right and centre and kept the home keeper on his onions all night.
The squandering of goal opportunities during the night will be left for another date, many of the battlers are reeling from missed opportunities which have no doubt caused sleepless nights since. As the rain set in on the already well established rain and the floodlights sparked a set piece by DSPAFC were awarded a corner converted as Gizzabaldi put his gloves back on. 8-all. Alamo central for the visitors reduced to 4 men as Al-Kinghali took an early bath on his bicycle. Hamstrings strummed their pain with their fingers, but with one voice they sung their life with their song and surged forward. Cruelly denied. The counter...9-8. Was it over. It’s not over till they’ve sung your life with their song and strummed your pain with their fingers, Twang went the veteran’s ligament. Unflinching he played on. Twong went Gizzabaldi’s hamstring. Telling their whole life with its words the advantage was converted into 10-8 victory for DSPAFC/restotheworld IV when Da Silva proved that experience is no barrier to folly as he strummed further pain into his knee with the fingers of an abandoned wonder-strike. The hobbling Academicals threw in the towel. A sodden bunch they hobbled their way to the tunnel much like Mclaren’s spoiled crop of soggy turnips did two nights later.
Post-match pavilion talk centred mainly on the new signing, as he and Coweyscatsi conducted themselves like a pair of long lost boot cleaning trainees. Oh how they reminisced about the old days of Sunderland.
Da Silva-Fox recounted how as a 16 year old marking former Newcastle legend Jackie Milburn (then of Linfield) out of the game all the first half of his own Irish league debut, only for the veteran to go on to score 4 in the second half (the manager told me not to follow him when he drifted in the second Da Silva-Fox reminisced).
Warming to his topic, Da Silva-Fox suggested a range of new tactics, including a variation on the approach reported in last week’s report, of playing without a ball, and the need for the modern game to return to the old school of extroverts calling the shots. Debating points included Da Silva-Fox doing a bit of a "Keano" and taking exception to being told to “make some space” by a whippersnapper; Gizzabaldi shamelessly showboating his back heel into the net. I could go on and on. They certainly did. But then that’s football.
It was a filthy, dirty, wet, thundering with rain, miserable night, but who gives a SHITE. It was a Monday so we dared to go where few would have even contemplated, onto the field of dreams in a Monsoon Monday Extravaganza. What a show of camaraderie and dedication. It was a little worrying on the way through the tunnel, but lo and behold, the Sunderland Legend was there and It Was On. No sooner had we entered the arena when we saw fellow
worshippers of the sphere, it was pissin’ it down but it bounced off these toned-torsoed athletes as they swaggered onto the turf of opportunity: we were united against the elements.Again the injury-hit DSPAFC (this time playing under the banner of a Rest of the World IV) showed little weakness in the standard of play, merely in the number playing. It was a “so last century” 4 v 5 tonight with a bibless look. As mentioned in previous articles, the bib situation is always an area for discussion and debate, so I am a little limited here. Just to say there were none. ‘nough said.
We welcomed with open arms a possible transfer opportunity in Jan 2008, K. Da Silva-Fox. He had flown in, with no expense spared, via Ryanair, for the event. Boy was he eager. He had the drive and gusto of the level we have almost become accustomed to. He was charming in the introductions but that is where it ended. The only charming he did after that was his caressing of the match ball. What a find!!!!!
The night was looking like a dull prospect, with the chaps from pitch no.3 askin’ for a contest. Der Kaiser, politely, telling them that the level of play would be beyond even their dreams. So we got on with it, old stylee. The Irish trio, UCC (Re)United for one night only, along with adoptive sons Aderonskï and Al-Kinghali looked on for a solid win, but as ever it was an even contest, with little to spare as goals were exchanged in a end to end topsy-turvy whirlpool of swirling side-footers, punishing pile-drivers and cheeky chips. 7-8 to UCC (Re)United with minutes remaining on the clock. Take it into the corners, watch your house, touch-tight: all the standard advice was spurned by UCC as they continued to play from the back. This Croatian approach did not seem suited to the astroturf surface on the night.
Nonetheless it looked like Da Silva-Fox as the find of the transfer window with 2 wonder strikes, both from outside the area. He made space, he was composed and took both with the accuracy one would expect from a seasoned pro. First the left then the right. On both occasions he showed his trademark, showboating, inside-out shimmy. How the crowd cheered! The first deservedly being rewarded the Marmite Goal of the Night. (stickers to be sent, Airmail). Enjoy Da Silva.
Gizzabaldi surprised all, by what is thought to be the first headed attempt at goal for a good 9 months and was also to play a major part in giving the first and second ever fouls of the league. (we will lose points in the Fair Play League, but fair play to honesty). This was marred by the tetchy approach of the whites. High ball calls, claims of seeing daylight, when we were in a downpour at 8.46pm in November, were seen by one newcomer as being "a bit Smokey Joe”..??????
The Bovril PotMA, by unanimous decision, went to Coweyscatsi. On an Alamo of a night, one could say, he was as impervious to shots on goal as his locks were to the precipitation. What a star!!!!
Garrattino and Gilesinho both had stylish finishes for DSPAFC/Restotheworld IV as befitted their attire and faultless coiffure – despite the downpour. Der Kaiser was off his sickbed but you would not think this was a player who but 2 hours previous had had his feet in a hot basin of water, a thermometer in his gob and a lemsip in his hand. What a Lazarus. A wooly cap and he was off. Aderonski threaded the ball left, right and centre and kept the home keeper on his onions all night.
The squandering of goal opportunities during the night will be left for another date, many of the battlers are reeling from missed opportunities which have no doubt caused sleepless nights since. As the rain set in on the already well established rain and the floodlights sparked a set piece by DSPAFC were awarded a corner converted as Gizzabaldi put his gloves back on. 8-all. Alamo central for the visitors reduced to 4 men as Al-Kinghali took an early bath on his bicycle. Hamstrings strummed their pain with their fingers, but with one voice they sung their life with their song and surged forward. Cruelly denied. The counter...9-8. Was it over. It’s not over till they’ve sung your life with their song and strummed your pain with their fingers, Twang went the veteran’s ligament. Unflinching he played on. Twong went Gizzabaldi’s hamstring. Telling their whole life with its words the advantage was converted into 10-8 victory for DSPAFC/restotheworld IV when Da Silva proved that experience is no barrier to folly as he strummed further pain into his knee with the fingers of an abandoned wonder-strike. The hobbling Academicals threw in the towel. A sodden bunch they hobbled their way to the tunnel much like Mclaren’s spoiled crop of soggy turnips did two nights later.
Post-match pavilion talk centred mainly on the new signing, as he and Coweyscatsi conducted themselves like a pair of long lost boot cleaning trainees. Oh how they reminisced about the old days of Sunderland.
Da Silva-Fox recounted how as a 16 year old marking former Newcastle legend Jackie Milburn (then of Linfield) out of the game all the first half of his own Irish league debut, only for the veteran to go on to score 4 in the second half (the manager told me not to follow him when he drifted in the second Da Silva-Fox reminisced).Warming to his topic, Da Silva-Fox suggested a range of new tactics, including a variation on the approach reported in last week’s report, of playing without a ball, and the need for the modern game to return to the old school of extroverts calling the shots. Debating points included Da Silva-Fox doing a bit of a "Keano" and taking exception to being told to “make some space” by a whippersnapper; Gizzabaldi shamelessly showboating his back heel into the net. I could go on and on. They certainly did. But then that’s football.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Touch-tight on the night
Readers, readers, readers: what a scrumptious 
event last Monday was for all who were witness to the wonders of DSPAFC. Those who were absent, for varying degrees of legitimacy (Coweyscatsi and Darrylinho on international duty), missed a corker. It almost blew the top off the Enjoyometer scale (TM Waddo). My gosh it was a thing of beauty.
It started with an air of pent up frustration on the part of the first recipient of the first Bovril award A. Woolard-Aderonski, calling his charges to the “pitch of passions” and basically making sure who knew who was boss on the touch-line. With the air of the Scottish wizard Mr Strachan, he was bellowing abuse (with a smile) to the pitch-huggers of the 7o’clock slot. Through the use of the fool-proof method of encroachment he got his point across. Soon they were like mere mice as they realised the kings of the field were limbered up, in record time, a full 1 min 20.
The athletes took to the field, making it their own once more. It was ON.
The arrival times were “not too bad” (Anon) and just as the chaps practised their intended skills for the showdown, again the DSPAFC squad and the visiting wannabees were baffled by the Bibs or the lack thereof. The selectors had decided to again move the goalposts (more of which later). No bibs but a new selection process, Colours of choice was re-instated. This may be temporary but one thing is for sure, the teams are forever on their toes and so it should be for these seasoned sports-folk. There is only so much a competitive bout of Suduko can do for you. The numbers, reduced due to varying reasons (more of which later!!!) took to the turf with a novel 4 v 5 attack-minded formation. The Whites or off whites v the darker topped fellas. The match was captivating from the off and we had a thrilling encounter which swung in roundabouts as the doughty 4 held their own. It was touch-tight for the first half - “the congestion in mid-field was so evident that it should have been charged” (Mr Livingstone) - and the numerical advantage did not prove true in terms of scoreline. There was banter on the field and a more generous display of making full use of the players around them, a more rounded display one could say. The wide areas once more played a part with Lohmann in particular ghosting in from the right to devastating effect. The showboating of the first half of the Five would change after the blowdrying and hair sculpture treatment of the half time chat. Der Kaiser was not content with the un-climactic (and indeed unclimatic too) sexy football of his peeps and, as Hoddle is my witness, they were quick off the blocks after the interval.
The gaffer’s “maturing pine sapling/telescopic” legs were making a menace of
themselves to his opponents. The timing, the positioning, the sheer length were a wonder to all, as the limbs extended, wound themselves round the hapless challenger’s shin, and retracted with the ball seemingly adhesively fixed to the extremity. A faultless display and yet he was again linking with the front men to grab his glory, a highlight being a swerving drive from 30 yards which cannoned off the bar.
Word on the Tabloid street suggests a little tension building with the backroom staff (notably the Bibmeister), in regards to the defence or lack thereof. The team worked beautifully with the Five forming a novel circular/spiral formation which rotated to absorb the opponents in a series of carefully positioned ‘black-holes’. Some had aged considerably when they ‘returned’ from the space-time folds, while others were visibly rejuvenated. Either way this was mind-bending football of the highest order (as Der Kaiser and Roperaroo later explained to the pavilion it is a matter of mathematics, or physics, and the exact amount of contraction of the calf muscle at the time of impact is vital). Each player working off eachother and being accountable for their actions. But let’s not forget the formidable four. What a display, what engines, what a contest! The four off whites played a determined and challenging game and although heavy legs and being a man down could be viewed as excuses, they fought tooth and nail to the final clunk of the lights.
The highs they can take away from this night are too many to mention. However the man of the night was, by unanimous pavilion decision, G. Gilesinhio for his overall determination, goals and turning, which transformed
what many envisaged as a “men against boys” or “guinea pigs against guinea pigs” contest into a thrilling “water fowl versus gerbils” match. He showed form and determination and the Bovril M/PotM is rightly his. As mentioned on MotD 2, by Gavin Peacock, he had the 3A’s. Advancement, Awareness and Ability. It’s so true.
Goal of the match had to be Garrattelli's balletic twist and strike which hit the net with aplomb.
Gizzabaldi appeared to have shaken off his roving thigh/calf strain and, despite spending most of the match on his rear-end, was eager to get his name on the score-sheet, even seizing upon the absence of Turnbulletino to convert a penalty kick. He rather undid this good work by providing an audible commentary for what he was sure was going to be his third from a beautifully weighted threaded pass by Gilesinho before skying it as he completed the final syllable of his accompanying bon mots.
Conngiggski took his scoring tally to dizzying heights with a triple-brace and will be duly awarded his sticker at next week's pre-match presentation.
Kingchelskis was a battler in the challenge who later in the pavilion worried about his over indulgent Joey Bartonesque challenges. A series of mazy runs down the flanks had the 4 strewn about the final third like surprised cockroaches mesmerised by overhead pina coladas.
P.S. I am delighted to announce on behalf of “Marmite Fair Play inc”, we presently stand proudly in pole position in the league. The only fouls conceded or claimed over the months have been variations of transgressions of the high ball or D rules. “Go DSPAFC!!!”
Bring on Monday where we welcome a new signing. Coaxed back into the limelight of top-flight football is the Grey Wizard (not Ravenelli), veteran of Cliftonville FC and Glentoran FC and one-time back page headline grabber of the Belfast Telegraph, K. Da Silva-Fox . Watch this space!!!!
event last Monday was for all who were witness to the wonders of DSPAFC. Those who were absent, for varying degrees of legitimacy (Coweyscatsi and Darrylinho on international duty), missed a corker. It almost blew the top off the Enjoyometer scale (TM Waddo). My gosh it was a thing of beauty.It started with an air of pent up frustration on the part of the first recipient of the first Bovril award A. Woolard-Aderonski, calling his charges to the “pitch of passions” and basically making sure who knew who was boss on the touch-line. With the air of the Scottish wizard Mr Strachan, he was bellowing abuse (with a smile) to the pitch-huggers of the 7o’clock slot. Through the use of the fool-proof method of encroachment he got his point across. Soon they were like mere mice as they realised the kings of the field were limbered up, in record time, a full 1 min 20.
The athletes took to the field, making it their own once more. It was ON.
The arrival times were “not too bad” (Anon) and just as the chaps practised their intended skills for the showdown, again the DSPAFC squad and the visiting wannabees were baffled by the Bibs or the lack thereof. The selectors had decided to again move the goalposts (more of which later). No bibs but a new selection process, Colours of choice was re-instated. This may be temporary but one thing is for sure, the teams are forever on their toes and so it should be for these seasoned sports-folk. There is only so much a competitive bout of Suduko can do for you. The numbers, reduced due to varying reasons (more of which later!!!) took to the turf with a novel 4 v 5 attack-minded formation. The Whites or off whites v the darker topped fellas. The match was captivating from the off and we had a thrilling encounter which swung in roundabouts as the doughty 4 held their own. It was touch-tight for the first half - “the congestion in mid-field was so evident that it should have been charged” (Mr Livingstone) - and the numerical advantage did not prove true in terms of scoreline. There was banter on the field and a more generous display of making full use of the players around them, a more rounded display one could say. The wide areas once more played a part with Lohmann in particular ghosting in from the right to devastating effect. The showboating of the first half of the Five would change after the blowdrying and hair sculpture treatment of the half time chat. Der Kaiser was not content with the un-climactic (and indeed unclimatic too) sexy football of his peeps and, as Hoddle is my witness, they were quick off the blocks after the interval.
The gaffer’s “maturing pine sapling/telescopic” legs were making a menace of
themselves to his opponents. The timing, the positioning, the sheer length were a wonder to all, as the limbs extended, wound themselves round the hapless challenger’s shin, and retracted with the ball seemingly adhesively fixed to the extremity. A faultless display and yet he was again linking with the front men to grab his glory, a highlight being a swerving drive from 30 yards which cannoned off the bar.Word on the Tabloid street suggests a little tension building with the backroom staff (notably the Bibmeister), in regards to the defence or lack thereof. The team worked beautifully with the Five forming a novel circular/spiral formation which rotated to absorb the opponents in a series of carefully positioned ‘black-holes’. Some had aged considerably when they ‘returned’ from the space-time folds, while others were visibly rejuvenated. Either way this was mind-bending football of the highest order (as Der Kaiser and Roperaroo later explained to the pavilion it is a matter of mathematics, or physics, and the exact amount of contraction of the calf muscle at the time of impact is vital). Each player working off eachother and being accountable for their actions. But let’s not forget the formidable four. What a display, what engines, what a contest! The four off whites played a determined and challenging game and although heavy legs and being a man down could be viewed as excuses, they fought tooth and nail to the final clunk of the lights.
The highs they can take away from this night are too many to mention. However the man of the night was, by unanimous pavilion decision, G. Gilesinhio for his overall determination, goals and turning, which transformed
what many envisaged as a “men against boys” or “guinea pigs against guinea pigs” contest into a thrilling “water fowl versus gerbils” match. He showed form and determination and the Bovril M/PotM is rightly his. As mentioned on MotD 2, by Gavin Peacock, he had the 3A’s. Advancement, Awareness and Ability. It’s so true.Goal of the match had to be Garrattelli's balletic twist and strike which hit the net with aplomb.
Gizzabaldi appeared to have shaken off his roving thigh/calf strain and, despite spending most of the match on his rear-end, was eager to get his name on the score-sheet, even seizing upon the absence of Turnbulletino to convert a penalty kick. He rather undid this good work by providing an audible commentary for what he was sure was going to be his third from a beautifully weighted threaded pass by Gilesinho before skying it as he completed the final syllable of his accompanying bon mots.Conngiggski took his scoring tally to dizzying heights with a triple-brace and will be duly awarded his sticker at next week's pre-match presentation.
Kingchelskis was a battler in the challenge who later in the pavilion worried about his over indulgent Joey Bartonesque challenges. A series of mazy runs down the flanks had the 4 strewn about the final third like surprised cockroaches mesmerised by overhead pina coladas.
P.S. I am delighted to announce on behalf of “Marmite Fair Play inc”, we presently stand proudly in pole position in the league. The only fouls conceded or claimed over the months have been variations of transgressions of the high ball or D rules. “Go DSPAFC!!!”
Bring on Monday where we welcome a new signing. Coaxed back into the limelight of top-flight football is the Grey Wizard (not Ravenelli), veteran of Cliftonville FC and Glentoran FC and one-time back page headline grabber of the Belfast Telegraph, K. Da Silva-Fox . Watch this space!!!!
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Remember, remember the 5th of November
Well how could we ever forget this catchy phrase after the display on this fine Autumnal eve. Again we were treated like royalty to a display of fabulous skills from this ever improving team. Again they proved their critics wrong: long forgotten are the old headlines of these chaps being over-rated, over-paid and over the hill. No they played a thrilling match of topsy-turvy, end-to-end passion-fuelled flamboyant football. 
The home team, although hampered by multiple injuries - more of which later - was not willing to show any weakness in any position. The selected team was reduced, due to some players’ off the field commitments and one player unable to squeeze his Bentley Continental through the gates, and was late in being announced. The mighty Gilesinho took charge of the bib allocation and was as quick in his selection of the team as he was to be in his selection of cutting passes later on.
Again it was an unusual battle of a 6v5, and a brave suggestion that a singular rotation of 5v6 occur for the second half. Having learned a hard lesson last week with these changes, many of the team were sporting timekeeping pieces. On show were a variety of Rolex and deep sea diving pieces and of course the footballer’s favourite, the Texas Instrument digital.
It was going to be a great night. This was compounded by the firework display at kickoff. “The budget was blown but it was a real crowd pleaser”(Aderonskï - head of accounts)
As Conngiggskï suggested on his travels to the match, “we will hit the ground running and start as we mean to go on". The tempo we have grown accustomed to in recent weeks was evident from the off.
Der Kaiser, after some barren weeks (goalwise) early in the season, was on fire and played a great game just behind the front two, or one or none, depending on tactics. He made his intentions early doors and scored a screamer (Ahhh!, Bisto goal of the match by unanimous vote) with the outside of his trusty recently sponsored boot. It was going to be a good night for the seasoned Bayern man. Two more were to follow, one a cheeky corner kick catching the keeper off his line, who fumbled for the ball, but it was beyond his grasp. Aderihiano was as surprised as any as his own pile-driver from 23yds found the top corner. The memory of the goal was enhanced by a perfectly timed boom as the sky lit up and sparkled to celebrate.
Some of the more steady players (no names needed) had what some may call a “Diego Forlan” night - lots of running and great first touch but little else.
But as ever there was a drive for glory near the end and controversy in the confusion of tactics and formation. Late on Gilesihno had a one on one with the Conngiggskï: as the keeper left his area to clear, the hapless striker, on a hat-trick, had a rush of blood to his wise head. “You can’t fly”, he hollered in disgust, but as R Kelly, and later Westlife, beautifully sang “ I believe I can fly" was Conngiggskï’s claim. 
Late doors there was a bit of time wasting from Colours of Benetton United, skying two simple chances in front of the sticks, much to the disgust of the home side who were sadly trailing by two. Which by all accounts was a mystery. A mystery which will haunt them for some time. When the pundits viewed and discussed the play later in the pavilion there seemed to be at least one mystery goal missing. This would no doubt have changed the complexion of the game and FIFA are looking at a possible replay, point deduction, or the old favourite, “calling it a draw”. I for one would go for the latter. A further mystery concerned the final minutes of the match. With a match ball a-piece - which otherwise were destined for the burgeoning personal collections of the hat-trick heroes Gilesinho (who had the audacity to bag 4) and Der Kaiser - ‘skyed’ into the crowd, the climax to the game appeared to be played out in mime. This did not deter Garrattino from intercepting everything that moved, as he had all evening while the real ball was on the field of play, nor Gizzabaldi from leaping like a salmon in the visitor’s D area, thwarting the home side’s late pressure to snatch a less demoralising defeat from the jaws of a more demoralising defeat.
Nominations for the Bovril Man of the Match were a difficult call as several of the crew gave 110% throughout, but one man stood out like a firework. Step up M. Campellese.
The pundits also announced new awards, which will be given in a sticker style ceremony at the pavilion, for now (still awaiting sponsor’s confirmation of the exact amount of the award money). Marmite Magical moment for M. Waddoluci’s solo effort and the Bert Trautmann award for goalkeeping heroics and/or unnecessary dives went to G. Gizzabaldi.
The Pavilion – which was relocated temporarily to SE24 - was quiet by comparison this Monday night as many had charity events, firework displays to open and the like to attend. These guys DO give back to the very people who have made them.
We all look forward to more high jinks next week and may, we hope, welcome back some of our injured athletes. Namely Coweyskatsi (thumb), Turnbulletino (metatarsels of the inner palm) and Daryllinho (throat) amongst others.
Roll on next week.
The home team, although hampered by multiple injuries - more of which later - was not willing to show any weakness in any position. The selected team was reduced, due to some players’ off the field commitments and one player unable to squeeze his Bentley Continental through the gates, and was late in being announced. The mighty Gilesinho took charge of the bib allocation and was as quick in his selection of the team as he was to be in his selection of cutting passes later on.
Again it was an unusual battle of a 6v5, and a brave suggestion that a singular rotation of 5v6 occur for the second half. Having learned a hard lesson last week with these changes, many of the team were sporting timekeeping pieces. On show were a variety of Rolex and deep sea diving pieces and of course the footballer’s favourite, the Texas Instrument digital.
It was going to be a great night. This was compounded by the firework display at kickoff. “The budget was blown but it was a real crowd pleaser”(Aderonskï - head of accounts)As Conngiggskï suggested on his travels to the match, “we will hit the ground running and start as we mean to go on". The tempo we have grown accustomed to in recent weeks was evident from the off.
Der Kaiser, after some barren weeks (goalwise) early in the season, was on fire and played a great game just behind the front two, or one or none, depending on tactics. He made his intentions early doors and scored a screamer (Ahhh!, Bisto goal of the match by unanimous vote) with the outside of his trusty recently sponsored boot. It was going to be a good night for the seasoned Bayern man. Two more were to follow, one a cheeky corner kick catching the keeper off his line, who fumbled for the ball, but it was beyond his grasp. Aderihiano was as surprised as any as his own pile-driver from 23yds found the top corner. The memory of the goal was enhanced by a perfectly timed boom as the sky lit up and sparkled to celebrate.
Some of the more steady players (no names needed) had what some may call a “Diego Forlan” night - lots of running and great first touch but little else.
But as ever there was a drive for glory near the end and controversy in the confusion of tactics and formation. Late on Gilesihno had a one on one with the Conngiggskï: as the keeper left his area to clear, the hapless striker, on a hat-trick, had a rush of blood to his wise head. “You can’t fly”, he hollered in disgust, but as R Kelly, and later Westlife, beautifully sang “ I believe I can fly" was Conngiggskï’s claim. 
Late doors there was a bit of time wasting from Colours of Benetton United, skying two simple chances in front of the sticks, much to the disgust of the home side who were sadly trailing by two. Which by all accounts was a mystery. A mystery which will haunt them for some time. When the pundits viewed and discussed the play later in the pavilion there seemed to be at least one mystery goal missing. This would no doubt have changed the complexion of the game and FIFA are looking at a possible replay, point deduction, or the old favourite, “calling it a draw”. I for one would go for the latter. A further mystery concerned the final minutes of the match. With a match ball a-piece - which otherwise were destined for the burgeoning personal collections of the hat-trick heroes Gilesinho (who had the audacity to bag 4) and Der Kaiser - ‘skyed’ into the crowd, the climax to the game appeared to be played out in mime. This did not deter Garrattino from intercepting everything that moved, as he had all evening while the real ball was on the field of play, nor Gizzabaldi from leaping like a salmon in the visitor’s D area, thwarting the home side’s late pressure to snatch a less demoralising defeat from the jaws of a more demoralising defeat.
Nominations for the Bovril Man of the Match were a difficult call as several of the crew gave 110% throughout, but one man stood out like a firework. Step up M. Campellese.
The pundits also announced new awards, which will be given in a sticker style ceremony at the pavilion, for now (still awaiting sponsor’s confirmation of the exact amount of the award money). Marmite Magical moment for M. Waddoluci’s solo effort and the Bert Trautmann award for goalkeeping heroics and/or unnecessary dives went to G. Gizzabaldi.
The Pavilion – which was relocated temporarily to SE24 - was quiet by comparison this Monday night as many had charity events, firework displays to open and the like to attend. These guys DO give back to the very people who have made them.
We all look forward to more high jinks next week and may, we hope, welcome back some of our injured athletes. Namely Coweyskatsi (thumb), Turnbulletino (metatarsels of the inner palm) and Daryllinho (throat) amongst others.
Roll on next week.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
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