DSPAFC ξ West Dulwich Albion ΨAtt. 22,397
Supernatural or mystical forces were at work tonight, the first time since 1976 that the quarter finals had this look about them, the weather matching that of the same date that year and old rivals facing each other in a rematch of the classic enounter of March the year the cup last went south of the Thames to SE21. On the eve of the Ides of March, the script was written; all it needed was John Motson to sign it off with a 'romance of the cup' commemorative sticker and it was ON! 
The plucky minnows so revere their giant neighbours that they have taken to naming themselves after the players responsible for some of the biggest egos and credit balances in the modern game. By a strange irony this evening they would have to confront the 'real' Roperaroo, Aderonski, Waddolucci, and Gilesinho. Even more bizarrely, it was this very foursome who found themselves either dropped or injured for the home side. And so it was that the virtual versions lined up against the depleted might of the Dynamos, also tonight without Wolfmilktraykaiser, Campelese, El Darrylinho, Al Kinghali, Lohmann and Turnbulletin. With Michelides and Ballsssssterious both cup-tied the romance in the cup was brimming as a windswept Arena welcomed a measly 22,000 souls into its icy embrace.
It is not for nothing that this competition is revered the world over as simply
the best, in the immortal words of Tina Turner, and that everyone in the world even if they couldn't give a toss about football, tunes in their telly at ungodly hours of the day and night if they happen to live a place very far away from the UK, such as for example Brazil, to watch slightly less talented versions of premiership footballers kick the living daylights out of the real ones and maybe steal a victory from sides who couldn't really be arsed at the end of the day because we'd only end up playing Barnsley probably and that's not much of a day out for us or the fans, is it? Early doors 
this proved not to be an exception to the sentiments of Tina Turner's cacophony with the minnows setting out their stickleback and periwinkle stall with a 6-1 lead away to the once swaggering Dynamos.At half-time the great Jan Molby offered insightful punditry on the touchline: "You've got to say that the home side's keeper needn't have bothered with his gloves tonight so far, he had that much of a chance to get near to a touch on the 6 goal salvo that has come west along the South Circular and then a sharp right, taking care to avoid the roadworks on Red Post Hill to knock the Dynamos for 6", observed the walking talking legend. Out came the hair staighteners during Junade Vamos' half-time talk. It seemed to do the trick with Gizzabaldi suddenly finding his range via the use of 'the 
octopus' - a technique said to be inspired by Juande Vamos' advocacy of a large plate of calamari on matchday. As the arms sway from side to side an undulating effect is created reminiscent of the great Jacques Cousteau's period at Marseille which mesmerises the defence and enables the piscine predator to slip through the net. Now pick that one out of your own net, he seemed to say, in a mime show reminiscent of the great Marcel Marceau as he indicated that yes this was the beginning of a 'prison break' and that the home side would indeed dig their way out of the hol
e they had imprisoned themselves in through their
first half debacle. The Dynamos rallied: Coweyscatsi a powerhouse in the midfield hit a brace of top-drawer 'mullets' into the visitor's net. Garrattino hobbling throughout the 90 was not found wanting either and performed a dumbfounding sleight of hand which saw him levitate, reverse mid-air and set off on a decoy flight-path to set Gizzabaldi up. In the D was Constantin 'the glove' Conngiggski who saved late doors twice in quick succession from the rampaging 'Waddolucci'.
octopus' - a technique said to be inspired by Juande Vamos' advocacy of a large plate of calamari on matchday. As the arms sway from side to side an undulating effect is created reminiscent of the great Jacques Cousteau's period at Marseille which mesmerises the defence and enables the piscine predator to slip through the net. Now pick that one out of your own net, he seemed to say, in a mime show reminiscent of the great Marcel Marceau as he indicated that yes this was the beginning of a 'prison break' and that the home side would indeed dig their way out of the hol
e they had imprisoned themselves in through their
first half debacle. The Dynamos rallied: Coweyscatsi a powerhouse in the midfield hit a brace of top-drawer 'mullets' into the visitor's net. Garrattino hobbling throughout the 90 was not found wanting either and performed a dumbfounding sleight of hand which saw him levitate, reverse mid-air and set off on a decoy flight-path to set Gizzabaldi up. In the D was Constantin 'the glove' Conngiggski who saved late doors twice in quick succession from the rampaging 'Waddolucci'.At the other end it was a masterclass in imitation as 'Gilesinho' put on a display of finishing that even the real Gilesinho would take his hat off to. Left, right, left, right, uptown, downtown, Goodnight! he bagged a half dozen or more. 'Aderonski' was somewhat more subdued than his Premiership version but still seemed to have learned a few tricks from him. Not least the psychological toying with Gizzabaldi which saw the Dynamo resort to a two-steps only penalty strike and a double save from the multi-tasking 'Waddolucci'. "Trying to teach a seasoned pro the rules of his own game, sonny boy?" stormed Dynamo assistant manager Xavier Xerox in a fiery post-match interview. Looking every bit the 
part of an understudy who has been watching from the wings waiting for their chance to replace the diva centre stage, 'Roperaroo' skipped through the defence to blow the bloody doors off with an aria that would have left the great Maria Callas during her time with Inter, not to mention the great attacking midfielder himself, out of breath.
part of an understudy who has been watching from the wings waiting for their chance to replace the diva centre stage, 'Roperaroo' skipped through the defence to blow the bloody doors off with an aria that would have left the great Maria Callas during her time with Inter, not to mention the great attacking midfielder himself, out of breath. Referee Jorge Satantango let the game flow, as befitted this acquatically themed display, this despite some curious decisions regarding advantage played to the home side and choosing to see the gamesmanship of the minnows alleged by Xerox as expressions of respect for the Dynamos.
The home side rallied amid confusing signals on the scoreboard and alleged timewasting by the visitors. "The self-styled 'Waddolucci' made a mockery of the good name of his supposed hero by indulging in a display of timewasting 
not seen since his namesake watched his childhood heros Boro cause him to spend some of the most painful 90 minutes of his spectating career against Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink's Cardiff last weekend". The rancour of the Dynamos could do nothing to hide the fact that behind the elusive scoreline, no matter which way you read the tealeaves, it looked like another shock exit from the cup.
not seen since his namesake watched his childhood heros Boro cause him to spend some of the most painful 90 minutes of his spectating career against Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink's Cardiff last weekend". The rancour of the Dynamos could do nothing to hide the fact that behind the elusive scoreline, no matter which way you read the tealeaves, it looked like another shock exit from the cup.The Marmite PotM award (sticker) went, by unanimous decision, to G. Gilesinho, while the Ahh! Bisto goal of the match went to A. Roperaroo while the 'magical moments' stickers were shared between C. Conngiggski and M. Waddollucci for goalkeeping excellence.
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