DSPAFC 6Colors of Benetton Utd 5
Att. 51, 456
On the day the curtain came down at the Arena before the Dynamos relocate to Pond Cottages, the visitors had their manager questioned in connection with match fixing in Serie A. Flavio A. Cappella looked on stony faced as his side saw their 5 goal lead whittled away by the Dynamos. Despite the early onslaught of Waddolucci (getting to the by-line like Waddle in his pomp), Aderonskï (a single cracker into the mesh), Conngiggskï (an inside-out diagonal into the lattice), Wolfkaiser (a corker into the wine sack), Al Kinghali showboating like he owned the right hand side of the park (a drive from 35 yards), Roperaroo (embroidered one-touch football straight out of the top drawer), and the ever-informative instruction and leading by example of El Darrylinho,
Utd capitulated in the final minutes to Gilesinho’s long-prepared match-winner. The Dynamos can take a lot of positives out of this one. First the 3 points against their main rivals for the title, second the comeback, third the resolve, fourth the belief, fifth the strength in depth, sixth the positives hidden in between these positives and seventh those which form when the negatives are combined. Coweyscatsi ‘tween the bark was a revelation, Campellese in the engine room a self-multiplying asset, Garrattino a powerhouse up and down the turf, Gizzabaldi a shetland pony, Michaelides a strolling player upon a stage with a powerful soliloquy to boot and Gilesinho a predatory force to be reckoned with. "To be or not to be next goal the winner" he intoned before belting the sphere into the oblivion of the Benetton net and making his exit stage right. As the lights went down on referee Jorge Satantango’s last fixture at the Arena, he had to deal with a catalogue of controversies straight out of the FIFA handbook of unlikely what-ifs in the You Are the Ref appendices. Foremost among these was the contested 6th goal for the Dynamos. Video playback confirms its occurrence but try telling that to Aderonskï who faces a two match ban for his persistent protestations about the 'non-being' of the 6th goal. Quoting St Germain legend Jean-Paul Sartre and goalkeeping wunderkind Albert Camus to 
the fourth official will have done little to advance his cause. It was still all to 
play for at the pavilion where Lorro questioned the tactical nous of the Dynamos and Hansen alleged defensive mayhem in the Utd back 4. Gavin Peacock praised the staying power of Gilesinho and the ‘engine’ of Campellese. "You've got to say that the two lads have only gone and done what Dynamos supremo Juande Vamos has told them to do, 
that's to keep going for the full 9o", he added from the comfort of his blue and purple wide-striped shirt. "The gaffer's been reading the players John Terry's treatise on Being and Nothingness at bedtimes and you've only got to look at the results to see the dividends the Dynamos are taking out of the centre-half's synopsis of the 600+ pages of existentialist tactics", observed Jan Molby. Gaby Logan asked Benetton's assistant manager Xavier Xerox about the alleged showboating of the Dynamos (who until last week were themselves coached by the quixotic Castilian before the petrodollars lured him back to Utd): "Isn't it just a welcome return to the days of the likes of Rodney Marsh?" she asked the perplexed Xerox. 
"Look Gaby, from the perspective of the player on the receiving end of these unnecessary keepie-uppies, followed by a dive header to self round the full back, then a mimed SMS to the the upended defender, which video playback clearly shows as signalling 'l8ers', and a flick onto the near post and a quick lick 'n' stick of a Rizla paper on the keeper's forehead before the rebound is converted into a back-heeled nutmeg into the bolsa de cebollas, you've got to see that they might be a bit miffed with the Dynamos' lack of respect for the opposition".
Marmite PotM was M. Michaelides, while the ‘James’ went to C. Coweyscatsi, the 'Ronaldo' to C. Conngiggskï, the ‘Always believe in...you are Cole, Cole! always believe in your soul’ went to Wolfkaiser.
What a load of legends.
Utd capitulated in the final minutes to Gilesinho’s long-prepared match-winner. The Dynamos can take a lot of positives out of this one. First the 3 points against their main rivals for the title, second the comeback, third the resolve, fourth the belief, fifth the strength in depth, sixth the positives hidden in between these positives and seventh those which form when the negatives are combined. Coweyscatsi ‘tween the bark was a revelation, Campellese in the engine room a self-multiplying asset, Garrattino a powerhouse up and down the turf, Gizzabaldi a shetland pony, Michaelides a strolling player upon a stage with a powerful soliloquy to boot and Gilesinho a predatory force to be reckoned with. "To be or not to be next goal the winner" he intoned before belting the sphere into the oblivion of the Benetton net and making his exit stage right. As the lights went down on referee Jorge Satantango’s last fixture at the Arena, he had to deal with a catalogue of controversies straight out of the FIFA handbook of unlikely what-ifs in the You Are the Ref appendices. Foremost among these was the contested 6th goal for the Dynamos. Video playback confirms its occurrence but try telling that to Aderonskï who faces a two match ban for his persistent protestations about the 'non-being' of the 6th goal. Quoting St Germain legend Jean-Paul Sartre and goalkeeping wunderkind Albert Camus to 
the fourth official will have done little to advance his cause. It was still all to 
play for at the pavilion where Lorro questioned the tactical nous of the Dynamos and Hansen alleged defensive mayhem in the Utd back 4. Gavin Peacock praised the staying power of Gilesinho and the ‘engine’ of Campellese. "You've got to say that the two lads have only gone and done what Dynamos supremo Juande Vamos has told them to do, 
that's to keep going for the full 9o", he added from the comfort of his blue and purple wide-striped shirt. "The gaffer's been reading the players John Terry's treatise on Being and Nothingness at bedtimes and you've only got to look at the results to see the dividends the Dynamos are taking out of the centre-half's synopsis of the 600+ pages of existentialist tactics", observed Jan Molby. Gaby Logan asked Benetton's assistant manager Xavier Xerox about the alleged showboating of the Dynamos (who until last week were themselves coached by the quixotic Castilian before the petrodollars lured him back to Utd): "Isn't it just a welcome return to the days of the likes of Rodney Marsh?" she asked the perplexed Xerox. 
"Look Gaby, from the perspective of the player on the receiving end of these unnecessary keepie-uppies, followed by a dive header to self round the full back, then a mimed SMS to the the upended defender, which video playback clearly shows as signalling 'l8ers', and a flick onto the near post and a quick lick 'n' stick of a Rizla paper on the keeper's forehead before the rebound is converted into a back-heeled nutmeg into the bolsa de cebollas, you've got to see that they might be a bit miffed with the Dynamos' lack of respect for the opposition".Marmite PotM was M. Michaelides, while the ‘James’ went to C. Coweyscatsi, the 'Ronaldo' to C. Conngiggskï, the ‘Always believe in...you are Cole, Cole! always believe in your soul’ went to Wolfkaiser.
What a load of legends.
- Constantin Conngiggski is away
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