Dynamos legend donates takings to charity but leaves Allotments with no options

Dynamo Staropremium Premium Star Selection 7
Allotment Supplies and Sundries FC 6

As befits a big occasion the Dynamos fielded a star selection tonight for Albie Cahillisto’s testimonial. The script appeared to have been written with the great man opening the scoring with a true striker’s goal. The Dynamos threatened to overrun Allotment’s usually robust and hardy perennial defence. Soon enough however the seasons seemed to turn and with a bit of judicious weeding administered by Coweyscatsi, Canwinjones and Wolfkaiser the Allotments put the boot on the other foot and started to inundate the Dynamos D with produce straight from the back of the stall. Onions, parsnips and finest radishes were thrown at the goalmouth. The bark was hit from every angle but somehow it was not to be their night. Coweyscatsi however, turned on a sixpence in the middle of the park before setting off on a powerful run which tore through the heart of the Dynamos defence. Then it was pruning season once again for the Allotments as Player of the Match Gilesinho picked off two peaches of goals from the wide areas and with Norwegian wizard Bunyanson indomitable in midfield and Burritah on song, Gilesinho completed a star performance with an assist for the otherwise wayward Gizzabaldi to score an unlikely goal. The hapless lad had to be cautioned for berating Canwinjones for an imaginary slight. “The lad’s off to the Priory with wassername off the telly to recuperate and meet face to face the demons in his head” commented Dynamos supremo Larry Bednapp. Late doors the Allotments rallied but their finest veg was wastefully propelled into the neighbouring fields.

The testimonial was followed by a celebration at an exclusive South east London eaterie, where Cahillisto was inducted into the Dynamo Staropremium Hall of Fame, Junior rank. Vowing to return after his predicted 5 year loan deal to Perth Plasmas to continue his career with the Dynamos, he made a commitment to players and fans to one day earn his place at the top table of this elite footballing institution, the Hall of Fame proper. “This is a big football club and it will always be a pleasure to sit eating prawn sandwiches in the director’s box when I visit. Just remember: whatever you do: Give Him An Option!”