Dynamostaropremium 1999 4
In a highly unorthodox pre-season warm-up tactic Dynamos supremo Larry Bednapp sent out his current crop of overpaid clothes horses and preening prima donnas to play against their former selves. The idea was the brainchild of Jan Hoganfemimartins who selected the teams tonight in this exhibition match played in front of a Pimms-sozzled home crowd happy to forsake lager in the name of science. Coupled with the other therapeutic element introduced to the dressing room by the absent 'Smiler' Pantonioni the team psychotherapist teamed up with the club's logistics manager to set up this extraordinary game across the decades. 
"Playing against myself is something I often feel I am doing on a weekly basis" observed Conngiggski, "so basically this was no different." "Still falling over yourself then?" quipped Garth Crooks. "Ha ha ha ha" responded the 2009 version of the journeyman winger. The Gilesinho of 1999 canceled out his latter day incarnation for 90 minutes until in the dying seconds he secured the draw the 2009 side deserved. "I am not going to beat myself up over this" said Turnbulletin 1999, "but I've got to hand it to myself that I have emerged out of this experiment with at least one of my heads held high." Some were not so fortunate: Gizzabaldi still fought his demons down the flanks, while new signing Jean-Luc MacUkulele initially found it difficult to find his former feet and Garrattino's 1999 self easily snuffed out the stepovers of Garrattino 2009. "Nobody did stepovers in 1999, not on my patch anyway," quipped the 1999 version, "and I'm damned if I'm going to let some upstart try it on me now". 
"Larry Bednapp's created a monster here" warned Ally Hansen in the post-match analysis, "he's forced the Dynamos to look at themselves in an old light, and from a therapeutic point of view that's just unbullievable."
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