Sunday, July 19, 2009

Dynamos rewrite rule-book

Dynamostaropremium AFC

Adaptations of rules for injury-risk reduction purposes and artistic merit

Rule 1: The D
Contact with ball by outfield players allowed if ball just inside D but no contact made by attacking player on the surface of D area (e.g. playing foot, head, arse or whatever makes no contact with surface inside D)

But: no contact allowed with goalkeeper. NB Goalkeeper must feel safe in making all saves within D.

If entry of D takes place after contact with ball outside D then this is ok, provided no danger of contact with goalkeeper. In the real rules for 5-a-side accidental entry of D is okay, so same with us.

Fly goalkeeper once outside D is covered by same rules as outfield players (hence if fly goalie handles outside D it is a handball just like any other).


Rule 2: Tackling for softies
No sliding tackles

No going in high with boot raised.


Rule 3: Wingers' rule (AKA Chrees Waddle)
The player on the ball ‘darting’ down the wing claiming ball is in should not necessarily be overruled by opponent with more restricted view.

Rule 4: Head height advantage
Where possible advantage should be played but no sulking due to lack of unanimity between team-mates or between teams. Rule relaxed in the case of spectacular goals scored following an infringement (precedent: Conngiggskï’s volley). Also think twice about calling head height unless you are certain.

Rule 6: Penalties (suggestion)
‘Cynical’ fouls where the attacker is through on goal or in strong attacking position should be penalised with a penalty kick. In the event of a disputed decision the players in question should retire to the sin-bin and exchange man-bags.

Rule 7: Goalkeeper can clear/save/block the ball over head height but not kick or throw a deliberately attacking ball over head height.

Rule 8: Simulation
This is encouraged in every area of the pitch.

Rule 9: Referee Jorge Satantango’s decision is final, at least until the postmatch analysis and/or blog.

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