Too Bibilicious for Ya!

DSPAFC 8 - Colors of Benetton Utd 7
Att. 61,409

It was bibtastic this crisp evening. Oh what a turn out it was. A full squad minus a few stalwarts on display on the hour and all willing for the off. Gizzabaldi dispensed the colours and without any hesitation it was ON!

Team selection done, it was now time for formation. Too often in the past the DSPAFC have been rash in this department and paid for it late doors. Today was not a day to risk anything but attacking football of the highest order. The home side huddled together for what the crowd, almost to capacity, felt was an eternity. The new Italian-influenced Diamond Encrusted formation with a hint of Cubic Zerconia on the flanks was the plan. What a plan it was. Oh my gosh.

The Limey Greens Vs the Tangerines, a pure 5v5. We got our five a day and then some. Vitamins and minerals were strewn about the field of dreams come the final clunk of the final 10pence in the electricity metre.

The flow was at times a little pedestrian, especially in the final hour when it looked like the extra training sessions set by the headmaster had left some of the internationals drained. But for the first flourish of frenzied phantasmagorical football this was a thing to behold, one to tell the kids about, or one to tell your Facebook friends about if the kids won’t listen.

The teams seemed a tad nervous at first, this despite the fact that the numbers added up to two identical equally odd numbers, the goals were in their allocated positions, the teams had clear kit colour differences, the ball was pumped up. But who’s that ? A young hopeful for the future on the sideline ready to enter the fray if needed. Kitano Coweyscatsi even helped out the ball retrieval staff, held court as a fledgling pundit back at the pavilion and looked set to replace his old man in the final minutes after an injury. Hold on young man, it'd take more than that to remove the 4 goal outside right from the Arena which he lit up with a double brace and several which rebounded from the Utd goalposts and crossbar.

This exhibition was a walk in the park of dreams for these seasoned bibbers.
Passing was crisp, the dew played its part though, movement early doors was gradual and problems with vision were expressed. “Is there a postal strike tonight or what?” Conngiggskï suggested to Gizzabaldi mid-match, having seen his arch enemy hit the bark 5 out of 5. Not bad for Soccer Sunday on Sky with the has-beens, but we are talking about this group of men at their peak.

The field or should I say the fields of dreams seemed more vast this evening. It was mainly due to the inevitable absence of teams on number 2 and 3. The outcome we saw some weeks ago, as the younguns tried in vain to get a game with the masters. “Oh you are short a man tonight, can we play”. “Oh there is a conference in Harlow tonight, if you guys are shy, I will be kicking a ball against the gate for a full 40” and such.

They realised that with our embarrassment of riches, they could not spend their night living a dream, the dream we were living, poor bastards. But in time they will realise the golden rule. What the head of an experienced pro says will eventually reach his shooting boot. It is just the extra wisdom takes its time to reach the sweet spot.
The players collectively have a manner about them in which this is displayed (but more of that another day).

However the comical information-relay-delay sticker goes to multiple guilty parties tonight. Gizzabaldi for his mystifying, midfield ball entrapment, followed by triple pirouette and landing on his arse; both Coweyscatsi and Waddolucci’s Ronaldinho impersonations on the flanks; and referee Jorge Satantango’s below-par efforts. Having cautioned Garrattino for a challenge which saw Wolfkaiser nursing several of his metatarsals (at last we know how to spell it) and looking in vain for the magic sponge, he booked him again for upending Campellese in the dying minutes but didn’t dispatch him to the sin-bin. In the opening minutes DSPAFC were denied “a stonewall penalty” according to John Barnes, for a handling outside the D offence. Not for the first time this season Satantango’s European Cup final dreams look to be in tatters.

With tele-votes still coming in the Bisto and Marmite awards still hang in the balance but with Waddolucci's twinkle toed performance and free-scoring Coweyscatsi and an array of top-drawer finishes to choose from (gloss, matt and woodchip - the latter reserved for Gizzabaldi's own goal in the first minute of play) by Wolfkaiser, Campelese, Garrattino, Al Kinghali, Gilesinho, Lohmann and Conngiggski to choose from, there is a lot to ponder.

Breaking news: the embarrassment of riches led to a jam in the broadband connection of the editorial team caused by an overwhelming vote by the public. On a recount the decision for Marmite PotM went to C. Coweyscatsi and the Ahhh! Bisto goal of the match to M. Waddolucci. What a brace of assets to any team!